Enemy
by verbal-acuity77
Summary: When working for the CIA, it is important to NEVER under ANY circumstances, fall in love. Agent Eli Goldsworthy is determined not to make that mistake. But when a certain illegal arms dealer's daughter falls into his life, will he rethink that decision?
1. Introduction

_"Ladies and gentlemen, we proudly present, a picturesque score of passing fantasy."_

**-"Introduction" Panic at The Disco**

"Security door breached."

Agent Coyne's heart was racing. The CIA would be here, bursting through the doors at any given moment. It was time to leave.

"Security door breached."

The intercom sounded again, its calm voice sounding so out of place in such a dangerous situation. Coyne turned to Edwards. All of his leaders hard work, all of his struggle was about to be lost. Coyne cleared his throat for a few seconds before speaking. "Sir." He said loudly in the otherwise silent room. "We have to go." Edwards's eyes never left the blinking computer screen. He must have heard Coyne however, because he chuckled darkly, causing a shiver to run through Coyne's body. "Calm down Coyne." His leader said. "I must send this file first. It is incredibly urgent."

"Security door breached."

"Please sir" Coyne begged, his heart beating rapidly as his hands shook slightly. They were getting closer. "Nothing could possibly be worth-"

"This is." His leader interrupted a hard edge to his voice, his blue eyes growing stormy as his head sharply turned to Coyne. The young man dropped his head. "Yes sir." Said Coyne obediently. Seconds later there was a "ding!" heard at the computer and Coyne's leader smiled. "Done." He said. Coyne sighed in relief. "Now may we go?." He asked, his voice sounding helpless. Edward's smirked. "Yes Coyne. Now we may go. Hurry now before-

Suddenly, the two men heard footsteps. Coyne felt his blood run cold. He turned to his leader. For once in Coyne's life, he was afraid. Afraid of what lied on the other side of the steel door at the head of the office they were now standing in.

Agent Coyne's mouth opened, ready to speak but closed when he felt a parachute backpack being placed on his shoulders. "You have to leave." Edward's said. Coyne froze. _"You have to leave." "You" _You was singular. As in, only he was leaving. "Sir?" Coyne asked, unsure of what to say next. Edwards looked out the window. "I cant leave without being detected. There's too many of them and they're too close. Coyne's eyebrows arched in confusion. "No" he said. "No, you are coming with sir. We _ca_nleave undetected. We're spies for God's sake!" Edwards smiled sadly. He only ever smiled on rare occasions and Coyne had a sour feeling this occasion would be very rare indeed. "Declan." Edwards said. Coyne's eyes widened. In all of his four years of working with him, Edwards had only called him by his last and code name. Never his first name. "You are the only hope of breaking me out of the CIA. You need to leave. That is an order." As he finished his last statement, all traces of sentiment washed away from Edwards's face. Coyne felt a bit relieved. Sentiment did not suit Edwards well. He stared at the other man for a moment, unsure of how to execute a proper, yet professional goodbye. "I need you to protect my family. The CIA will be after them." Edwards said, his eyes boring deeply into Coyne's confused ones.

Edwards and his wife had divorced years ago. They had two daughters, however Edwards had not mentioned them much. His youngest daughter visited him sometimes, but that was the extent of it. Besides, Edwards's ex-wife and her two daughters had already been questioned about the whereabouts of Edwards by the CIA and they had been deemed that they both knew absolutely nothing.

"Why?" Coyne asked. "Protect my family." Edwards repeated, his bright blue eyes locking with Coyne's. "Protect them" With that, he pushed Coyne out the window and turned to face his demise.

Coyne fell for a few seconds before pulling his parachute and landing on a nearby building. Coyne looked up at the building he was in just five minutes ago. Even in the night sky, he could see and hear everything perfectly. Edwards's hands went up in the air as three men rushed into the room, all of their guns pointing at his head. And even though Coyne was quite far away, and now matter how hard he tried to block it out, he still heard it, loud and clear. "Randall Edwards, International arms dealer" A voice rang out, sounding rather smug. "You are under arrest."

. . .

"Gold, stop fidgeting." Simpson told me for the fifth time. I placed my hands down at my sides once again. "Sorry" Simpson chuckled. "It's fine. Don't be nervous Gold. In fact, you should be proud. All of this happened because of you. What's got you?" he asked. I stared down at my shoes. "I'm just…scared I guess." I admitted, shuffling my feet slightly. Simpson stared at me for a moment. "There is nothing to be scared of." He said, laying a hand on my shoulder. "You've done amazingly in this project. Without you, we would have never found Edwards." An involuntary shiver passed through my body. _Edwards._ The main reason we were here. The main reason I was here.

About two years ago I vanished from the face of the Earth.

At age fifteen a large man wearing a strange badge knocked on my front door. He had gripped my shoulders tightly and told me that my father was dead. I wasn't sure if it was the lack of blood flow from the man's iron grip or the sudden shock of never seeing my father's face again, but I felt lightheaded. The man then took my to a large building where I met Simpson. It was there that he told me of my father's life. The one my mother and I, along with the rest of the world, didn't know about.

_"A secret agent?" I repeated stupidly. Simpson nodded, his lips twitching as though he wanted to smile at my shock. "No way. There's no way." Simpson held up one hand. I silenced myself immediately. "Your father applied to become an agent a few years before you were born. He was an amazing spy."_

_Simpson told me of my father's double life, how he spent years devoted to bringing down some of the most dangerous criminals in the world and sometimes, as strange as it sounded to me, saving the world. I remembered how trusting I had been with Simpson, despite the fact that I had just met him._

_"Wait." I said once Simpson was done explaining. "What about my father's death?"_

_Simpson lowered his head. "For the past ten years, your father and two other men were working on one of, if not the most, important mission in CIA history." I leaned forward. "What was the mission?" I asked, my voice coming out louder than intended in the silent room. Simpson's blue eyes looked up to meet my jade ones. Simpson waited and cleared his throat before speaking again. "To find Randall Edwards." I felt confusion wash over me. Randall Edwards? The name was foreign to me. "You have never heard of him." Simpson said, as if reading my thoughts. "Who is Randall Edwards?" I asked, tracing lines in the cool, metal table. "Randall Edwards, a.k.a Edwards is a highly successful, but very dangerous, national arms dealer." I looked up, my interest sparked. Simpson took my eager eyes as a sign to keep going. "It was your father and his teammate's mission to track him down and destroy him."_

_"Many other men had been lost while attempting the same mission in the past. I assumed that your father's team would be different. But-"Simpson stopped himself, guilt evident on his face. "He was killed." I said my voice flat and emotionless. Simpson nodded gravely. "He and his partner had managed to infiltrate Edwards's hiding area. They made it as far as the hallway leading up to Edwards's office before…" Simpson looked at the table and I could have sworn there were tears glistening at the corner of his eyes. "Your father and his teammates were killed by Randall Edwards himself." I attempted to swallow the large lump in my throat before speaking. "Where is Edwards now?" Simpson looked up at me, his silence answering my question. He was still alive. The man that had killed my father was still roaming this earth, guilt free._

_My fist clenched as I gritted my teeth. Simpson reached across the table and touched my shoulder, calming me slightly. "Why are you telling me all of this?" I asked. "None of it is going to help my father now." I glared at the ground. "Actually, it can." I looked up again at that. "What do you mean?" Simpson stood up. "You can continue your father's mission Elijah. You can take over and find Randall Edwards."_

_I looked up at him, my eyes wide. Now this guy was just crazy. I was just a kid! How was I supposed to become a member of the CIA! "Why me?" I asked finally, a million thoughts running through my mind. Simpson smiled. "Because your father's blood runs through your veins. If you're half the man he was, you can take Edwards down." I scoffed. "My father was killed. If I'm half the man he was, I'd die too." Simpson ignored my comment and turned his back to me. "Your father's partner's sons have already agreed to take on the mission. You will be put through a six month training procedure before going out to work on the mission, provided that you want to accept it." Simpson turned to me._

_We stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity. I spoke quietly. "If I do accept…what happens to my family?" Simpson stepped towards me. "You're mother will take an eternal vow of silence on the matter. You will get to maintain contact with her, as your father did. But you must tell no one. If you chose to accept this mission, we will need to delete your name from the entire world's database." I shifted uneasily before fore forcing myself to look Simpson in the eyes. "So you're telling me that I'm being erased from the world? As if I never existed?" Simpson nodded. "If you chose to decline we can always-"_

_"No." I cut him off. I walked towards one of the walls to the right of me. I allowed my mind to wander back on my life. Back on every party I was never invited to, not that I wanted to come anyway. Every school club meeting I had never attended. Every dance I hadn't asked a girl to. Every day at school where people pretended I wasn't even a student. No one in my life would miss me._

_"I'll do it." I said, my voice coming out confident and assure. I turned to see Simpson extending his hand._

_I was good at pretending I didn't exist anyway._

_I shook his hand._

I was put through six months of intense training before I was finally allowed to work in the field. It was there I met my two partners. Adam and Drew Torres.

_Drew shook my hand with a strong grip while Adam stood behind him, waving slightly before going and shaking my hand as well.. "Good to finally meet you man." He said. smiled. I smirked back. "Feelings mutual." I said. "So, you're Omar's sons?" I asked. Drew nodded. "Yeah. We're the Torres boys." He said, elbowing Adam, who looked slightly…uncomfortable at his brother's statement._

Drew, Adam and I grew to be best friends throughout the time we worked together. We even hung out outside of work, considering the fact that we couldn't associate with anyone else. We trusted each other with secrets of all kinds. Drew told us about how he had a relationship with a girl two weeks into training, but it ended when he cheated on her. Adam revealed to me that he was a FTM transgender. Gradually, I told them secrets of my own as well. I even told them about-

My thoughts snapped back to the present when I felt Simpson grip my shoulder. My eyes snapped up to the door of the building.

He was walking out the door. Drew and Adam had his arms handcuffed together and at his sides. Then, he started walking towards us. Unbelievably powerful, incredibly dangerous, Randall Edwards, came towards us. Not too taller than Simpson, even in his defeat he kept a smug, sinister look on his face. He and Simpson looked like complete opposites. "Randall" Simpson said finally.

"Archie" Edwards replied, Simpson's first name sounding so out of place with Edwards's dead voice.

"I suppose a congratulations is in order." He said and smirked. It was cold and sinister, making me feel uneasy. Edwards held up his cuffed hand. "You finally managed to capture me." Simpson smiled. "I'm not taking the credit for this one Randall."

_Did he mean?_

Simpson put his hand on my back and pushed me forward.

_Oh God no._

"Meet Goldsworthy, the leader of your capture mission. He and the two boys at your side are why you are standing before us right now." Edwards didn't appear interested in Adam or Drew however, only me. I looked into his cold eyes, attempting to appear strong.

Edwards smirked and looked up to the sky, as if in pretend thought. "Goldsworthy, eh? Haven't heard that name since…" his voice trailed off before locking his emotionless blue eyes with mine.

_He remembers my father._

It took all of my self restraint to avoid punching his smug expression off his face.

With Edwards's statement however, I felt a surge of self assurance of my own and stared back at him with intensity.

I leaned forward to emphasize my point. "I will be remembered as a hero. The entire CIA will remember my name as the man who is the reason for your demise."

Suddenly, Edwards laughed, catching us all off guard. Drew looked confused, while Adam just looked uneasy.

"My dear boy." Edwards said, venom dripping from every word. "You may be the reason for my demise. But you are also the reason for my successor's rise to power."

And with that, Edwards allowed himself to be taken away to one of the CIA's company vehicles, all of us, even Simpson, staring wide eyed after him.

Adam spoke first. "What do you think he means by "my successor's rise to power"?

We all turned to Simpson, hoping he would provide some sort of answer. "I'm not sure." He said, his eyebrows falling into a slant. "But I have a feeling we're going to find out if we don't figure it out ourselves."

Drew's shoulders slumped at the thought of more work.

. . .

"Can't you work any faster Turner?" Simpson barked. Dave's eyes flashed crossly towards him and then back to his computer screen. "I'm working as fast as I possibly can. You've got the wrong guy for this. Wesley's better at hacking into emails."

Simpson stood up from his chair by the computer to pace. "Then get Wesley! We need to find any data and information pertaining to Edwards's apprentice."

"Successor." Drew corrected, but shrank back when Simpson glared at him.

"Got it!" Dave exclaimed, jumping in his seat. I leaned forward, my eyes scanning through Edward's latest emails. "What's the last one about?" Dave clicked on it.

"Its just a message to his wife." Simpson stopped pacing. "Edwards doesn't have a wife." Dave looked over his shoulder at him. "It recipient of the message is Helen Edwards." He stated matter-of-factly.

Simpson thought for a moment. "Helen Edwards is his ex-wife." He strode over to Dave's computer screen in a matter of seconds. "What does it say?" All of us read the email silently to ourselves.

_To: Helen Edwards_

_From: Randall Edwards_

_Subject: Clare_

_Message: If I do not escape, send Clare to see me. There are matters we must discuss._

_-Randall_

The message was short, but it gave them a name and a lead. Simpson clapped Dave on the shoulder, obviously satisfied. Dave was surprised, but pleased nonetheless.

"Boys." Simpson turned to us. "I think its high time we pay a visit to the Edwards's ladies."

. . .

**Ta-da! Hope you guys liked it. I'm planning on making this story about ten, fifteen chapters? I'll decide depending on the response I get.**

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	2. I Write Sins Not Tragedies

"_It's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality."_

**-"I Write Sins Not Tragedies" Panic! At The Disco**

Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or Panic! At The Disco

"Ms. Clarabelle Edwards! What is this I hear about you not going to the Spring Fling?"

I sighed gently, puffing my cheeks out as I looked longingly towards Degrassi's metal exit doors. So close. I was so close to getting out of school undetected. But Alli's voice didn't _seem_ very close to me. Maybe if I pretend I didn't hear her I could-

"Clare!"

I jumped slightly. Alli's voice was not right behind me. I swear she's like a ninja for moving in those giant heels of hers. I turned, defeated. "That was my plan, yeah." I answered honestly and timidly. Her black eyes widened and then narrowed at my weak smile.

"And when exactly did you plan on telling me that I was going to one of the biggest dances of this year _alone?_" She asked, walking the remaining distance between us so that she could link her arm through mine as we headed out the doors together.

"It's not such a big dance Alli." I said, removing my arm from hers so I could take off my jean jacket and allow the sun to warm my arms. "I was going to tell you too." I added. "Jenna just got to you first." Jenna had been gushing over how KC asked her to the Spring Fling (surprise, surprise) and how her dress made her gigantic belly look slightly less huge. So, I casually mentioned that I wouldn't be attending and the next thing I knew, I was in the hot seat with Alli.

"You're missing out." Alli sing-songed to me. I rolled my eyes, playfully pushing her slightly. "I just don't see the point in going to a dance without a date." I said truthfully.

Alli gasped. "Clare Diana Edwards" she said, shaking her finger at me like I'd seen her mother do all too often. "Don't you know that there's more to life than boys?" I giggled. "Excuse me while I laugh at your hypocrisy." Alli laughed as well.

It was a sunny, bright, cheery Friday. Everything was perfect.

"Well, the dance is in a little less than a month. So we have the perfect amount of time to find you a hunk!" Alli said, bumping my hip with her own. I smiled at her choice of words. "Please." I said. "Every boy at school is either a self centered jock, a bully, or unavailable." We crossed the street to the Dot. I shrugged slightly. "I've just given up on hope with Degrassi guys." Alli opened the door to the restaurant/hangout, ushering me in. "Well Clare, there are plenty of other guys in Toronto who don't go to Degrassi!" Alli said happily.

I nodded and smiled at Peter, who gestured slightly to a table. Both Alli and I sat down and ordered chocolate milkshakes. "So Clare" Alli leaned in eagerly. "Interested in a college guy?" I stuck my tongue out at her. "No way." I said. "What about a guy from Ontario?" she tried. I shook my head and replied "Too long distance."

Alli groaned. "Come on Clare! This is our Spring Fling we're talking about! The last one of our lives!" I rolled my eyes. "There's always prom." I said smiling. "Prom and Spring Fling are two _completely_ different things Clare!" Alli jumped up from her seat and stared at me as if I was crazy for not knowing the difference. Peter laughed slightly as he set our milkshakes down at our table. I mumbled an embarrassed "thanks" before he left to tend to other customers. I looked up at Alli. "Keep your voice down!" I whispered. She noticed the other people at the Dot staring at her. "Oh" she muttered before taking a sip of her milkshake in an effort to cool down the heat in her cheeks.

"Enlighten me Alli." I said once the customers had gone back to their own conversations. "What is the difference between Prom and Spring Fling?" Alli was just about to answer when we heard a sudden _ding!_ at the door. That wasn't unusual. The door made that noise anytime someone entered The Dot. What was unusual was _who _had entered The Dot.

He was unlike anything Toronto had seen in a while, myself included. Everyone in this town was so cookie-cutter proper. The boys had to play sports; the girls had to wear pink. The men had to have a strong, well paid job; the women had to be housewives. But this guy…he was different.

He was dressed head to toe in black, from his dress shoes to his vest. He wore black skinny jeans and a V neck to match. A blazer made the entire outfit seem professional, as did the sunglasses he wore. He pushed his dark bangs out of his face and removed the glasses to reveal a pair of stunning jade green eyes as he surveyed the tables carefully, His structured jaw moving carefully and his plump lips muttered words to himself. His eyes continued to look around the room until they finally settled.

_On me._

I gulped audibly. Alli giggled from across the table. "Looks like Mr. Hot Dark Mysterious Man has eyes for you. Maybe you won't be alone for the Spring Fling after all."

He looked at me, and I almost felt my heart stop. Then, he slowly smirked, almost like a predator that was going to catch his prey.

Mr. Hot Dark Mysterious Man suddenly made his way over to our table, walking in long strides towards us, as if he suddenly realized he had somewhere to go. He stopped once he was in front of us, took notice of Alli before turning his attention back to me.

_Good. I don't want him looking at anyone but me._

"Clare Edwards." His low, delicious voice filled my ears. I cleared my throat before I attempted to speak. "Yes?" I squeaked. How did he know my name? "I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." I froze. What was he talking about? "What do you mean?" I stood up, prepared to bolt in case this guy was dangerous and he took advantage of this by grabbing hold of my shoulder, preventing me from running away. I tried pushing his hand away, but that only seemed to make him hold me tighter. "Who are you?" I asked angrily. This was getting serious. Alli stood up as well.

Mr. Hot Dark Mysterious Man reached into his pocket and I choked back a scream. Was it a gun? No, he didn't seem crazy enough to pull that out in this public of a place. Then again, I wasn't sure how crazy he was. I wasn't sure of anything at the moment.

He pulled a badge out of his pocket and held it up to me. "Agent Goldsworthy of the CIA." My eyes widened.

_He couldn't be here for…_

_No._

"I'm going to have to take you in for questioning under the case of illegal arms dealer Randall Edwards."

People in The Dot were beginning to stare again. This time, Alli shrunk back into her seat. I tilted my head at Mr. Hot Dark Mysterious Man, now Agent Goldsworthy. "I have already answered questions about my father. I was told I didn't need to answer any more. I know absolutely nothing." I attempted to move his hand from my shoulder again. "So if you'll just excuse me-"

"We have new found evidence that suggest otherwise Miss Edwards." He smirked again. "I've been ordered to take you into custody so further questioning may occur." I looked at Agent Goldsworthy.

"I don't think so." I said, prepared to yell for Peter to throw him out, no matter how attractive he was. But before I could, Agent Goldsworthy spoke.

"Your mother was quite willing to go into custody. I assumed you would be the same. Surely you don't have something to hide Miss Edwards?" His smirk became more pronounced.

My mom. They had my mom.

Agent Goldsworthy stared at me, and I looked back defiantly, our eyes having a silent argument. Finally, I sighed, defeated. I had to go with him. I had to protect my mom. To make sure they don't hurt her. If anything mattered, it was her.

"Clare?" Alli asked timidly. I looked at her, then back at Agent Goldsworthy. "No. Of course not. I'll…I'll answer any of your questions, so long as afterwards my mother and I are free to leave after."

Everyone in The Dot was now staring at us. I felt myself blush slightly, but remained my composure as I turned to Alli. "I'll see you at school on Monday, ok?" I smiled. Alli only nodded soundlessly. I turned to Agent Goldsworthy, who extended his arm, just as Alli had before we left the school.

"Shall we?" He asked, continuing to smirk. I purposely grabbed his arm with an iron grip as we left The Dot, hoping it would hurt him slightly.

So we both walked out of The Dot, the entire restaurant staring open mouthed behind us.

His giant black car was right outside The Dot. He opened up the backseat for me and I reluctantly climbed in. I reached over to shut the door, and I felt something cool and metal being placed and locked on my wrist. I sighed. Here we go again. I looked at the handcuff for a moment and then at him. "Don't trust me?" I said, tilting my head like I had earlier. He chuckled and I felt my insides buzz for a moment. Then, he attached the other end of the handcuff to the inside of the car.

"Well you are your father's daughter."

. . .

"_Helen-"_

"_No Randall!" My mother shouted. "No! I can't expose my children to this kind of environment! It's already broken me down! I'm not allowing myself to bring Darcy and Clare down with me!" Her voice cracked at that last statement._

_I stared at the scene unfolding from the top of the stairs, my tiny hands clenching the banister. My mother was walking towards my father. My father, who once stood so tall, so proud, and so confident, was now shrinking back towards the front door. _

_My mother opened the door and attempted to push my father out. My father grabbed her wrist, a last minute attempt to stop her. "No, please" he said, his voice breaking. "Don't leave me." _

_My mother looked at his hand before beginning to sob. "I'm sorry okay? But I can't." And with that she pushed my father out the door and out of her life before running to her room to cry herself to sleep._

_I felt tiny, hot tears roll down my cheeks. After a few moments of silence, I heard Darcy crying alone in her room. She had locked the door and would probably refuse to come out for the rest of the night and well into tomorrow._

_I curled up into a ball, finally allowing myself to cry now. It was all over. They had been fighting for over a year now. But this time, it was really over. My father was gone. _

_He wasn't coming back._

_There we were, the three Edwards women, all crying at the same time, for the same reason. My mother and Darcy in their separate rooms, and myself sitting in a feeble position by the stairs. But none of us had the kindness or decency to go to the other two and hold them. To comfort them, and allow ourselves to be comforted as well._

_In a few days it would be Sunday. We would all go to church, my mother, Darcy and I. We would hold hands and pretend that we were all fine. We would pretend that we were perfect and stay united and together as a family forever._

_But never had I felt so alone._

_. . ._

I was too young to understand what my father was doing back then, but as I got older, I began to see what was really going on. Why my father was always late at work, why is suits always had red stains on them, why his company car always smelled of death. Why his business employees carried guns at all times. I wasn't stupid.

"_Dad, you're a criminal aren't you?" I asked him one morning as he was reading the paper. He looked up at me. His face suddenly grew old and weary, tired of keeping secrets all the time and before he and I knew it, the truth escaped his lips. _

"_Yes"_

After that, my father let some other truths slip out to me. Pretty soon, I had an entire biography on him.

My father was at one point in his life, a firm believing Christian. It was at church where he first met my mother. They had been married after two years in that same church. Then my mother gave birth to Darcy and life seemed perfect.

But then it happened.

I liked to call this period of time, The Shift, because my father basically shifted from one lifestyle, to a completely different one.

A lifestyle of crime.

The shift began when my father lost his job Toronto's local police station. Then, with my mother pregnant and a family to support, my father attempted to look for a new job. He looked for weeks and months. He spent countless hours calling up employment offices, but he could never find a job that fit our family's needs.

Then, one night, everything changed.

I'm not really sure what happened during this part of The Shift. I'm not sure who my father met, what they told him, how they persuaded him, or anything else really.

All I know is on that particular night, my father killed a man.

He then began working for a very powerful gang, stealing money but also making it. Two years later, my father, the once hardworking, responsible, Christian man began his own illegal arms dealership.

My mother found out quite early. She had screamed and cried and had even ran away to her mother's home for a while, not bothering to bring Darcy and I with.

But eventually, she came back. My father's business may have been horrific, but it supported her family.

Due to the CIA always attempting to find him, my father always switched locations. He would whisk the entire family away to Tokyo, Japan for a month and a half before moving us to New York. It didn't matter to Darcy and me though. We were home schooled and as long as we were with our family, we were happy. But after my father my mother split up, he stopped taking us with him on his many adventures to his many different "safe houses" as he called them.

My father had several different safe houses, all of which the CIA knew nothing about. It wasn't until I turned 10 when the questioning started.

My mother had held my hand and led me into a small room where I was greeted by a smiling man in a black suit. "Thank you Mrs.-uh…Ms." The man corrected himself "Edwards. I'll take it from here." My mother nodded and leaned down so she was eye level with me. "Now you answer all of the questions the nice man asks you _truthfully_. Okay Clare-bear?" I caught the glint in my mother's eye. We had discussed this before we were questioned in private. I wasn't to tell the truth. I was to lie. Lie lie lie. Lie if I wanted my father to stay alive.

So, for the next five years, I lied. Every time the CIA took me into questioning, I stuck to my story. I pretended I didn't know anything about my father's business. My father was an accountant according to my mother, Darcy and I. Then, Darcy moved to Kenya and the CIA freed us of all questioning and deemed us "clean". So I was able to live a nice, care-free, completely normal life.

Until now.

The car jerked to a sudden stop. Agent Goldsworthy climbed out of the car and opened the door to let me out. He unlocked the handcuff and I jumped out immediately, eager to stretch my legs.

But, I had underestimated Agent Goldsworthy's and my closeness. I gasped as I felt our noses brush for the briefest second. Then, he, too, noticed our proximity and stepped away quickly, as if electrocuted.

Everything was silent for a minute. Then Agent Goldsworthy hesitantly touched my arm. "I have to get you to the questioning station." He said, slowly gaining back his cool exterior. I only nodded, afraid to use my voice. We didn't talk for the reminder of the walk into the CIA's home base. It was as if Agent Goldsworthy had turned to stone. The only thing that gave away the fact that he was even human was the vein in his jaw that pulsed slightly as he grit his teeth. He wrapped his piano player fingers around my wrist and led me towards the double doors and I couldn't help but feel my cheeks heat up and a sudden electricity rush through my body

I looked up at the large building he was beginning to lead me into. It was huge, and dark, and had no sign to dignify what it was. As we walked in, I noticed three exits and at least eight windows. I smirked.

Yeah, I could escape this place easily.

After all, I am my father's daughter.

…

*So, I think the rest of the story is going to be in Eli's perspective. I just wanted to give you a bit of a background on Clare. For those who didn't really get that part in the story about prom, in this fan fiction, Clare is a senior.*

By the way, you guys like that little Helen and Randall exchange? Wonder where I got that idea from hmm?

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	3. Hurricane

"_Are you worth your weight in gold? 'Cause you're behind my eyelids when I'm all alone. Hey, stranger, I want you to catch me like a cold"_

**-"Hurricane" Panic! At The Disco**

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Panic! At The Disco

"Welcome Clare." Simpson smiled at her in a friendly manner and gestured for us both to come in. Clare timidly smiled back and we both walked into the questioning room I assumed she knew all too well.

"Now, why don't we just take a seat and we can start on the-Eli you can let go of Clare's arm now." he said. I looked down and smiled sheepishly when I realized I was still holding on to Clare. I let it go, dropped my head and muttered a quick "Sorry" to Clare before looking at her from behind my bangs.

Her gorgeous blue eyes stared at me, obviously unfazed by my embarrassment. She smiled and a giggle escaped her lips. My mouth turned up at the corners. Her laughter was contagious.

Simpson cleared his throat and I took it as my cue to leave. I nodded my head slightly at Clare, who nodded back and took a seat at the table in the middle of the room that was across from where Simpson was sitting.

. . .

After I had closed the door, I walked over to where Drew was sitting. He was monitoring the questioning from behind a giant glass window. I took the seat next to him and leaned forward on the desk, propping my head up with my hands so I could get a comfortable view of Clare. I didn't notice Drew smile behind me.

"She's cute." He acknowledged. I turned my head to him. "What?" My eyebrows knit together. Drew's smile grew wider as he leaned forward; obviously knowing he had gotten my full attention. "The girl. Edwards. She's cute, don't you think?" I swallowed audibly and nodded, my head jerking. He had noticed. Drew let out a loud laugh, and I felt relived that Clare and Simpson couldn't hear us from inside the sound proof room. "Where's the other Torres?" I asked, attempting to change the subject. Drew rolled his eyes and I knew he was going to start a rant. "Visiting Ms. Coyne." He said. I allowed myself to fall back into my chair. We both knew that Adam had a thing for Fiona; he just couldn't bring himself to ask her out on a date.

I smirked. "What was his excuse this time?" I asked. Fiona worked as one of our forensic specialists, and Adam usual made up lies to see her, such as finding evidence and having her test it while he swooned over her brilliance.

"DNA testing." Drew responded.

I sighed. "Oh Adam. He really needs to grow a spine."

"Excuse me?" A voice rang out from behind us. I turned in my chair and smirked as Adam walked over and punched me playfully in the shoulder.

"Speak of the devil." Drew laughed. "Tell us, how is the fair Fiona Coyne doing this fine afternoon?" Adam's face reddened slightly at the mention of Fiona. "She's f-f-fine" he stuttered out, playing with the sleeve of his jacket.

"Ooh, did you hear that Gold?" Drew grinned at me through Adam. I smirked in return. "She's" he put on an embarrassed face similar to Adam's "F-f-fine!"

Adam shoved Drew, causing him to lose his balance and fall out of his chair. "C'mon Adam" I said, still smirking. "We're just teasing." Adam looked at me and smiled, obviously not hurt by our remarks. "I'm sorry you sad, lonely men. I forgot to ask. Which one of you has a date this Saturday night?" Drew and I looked at each other strangely. Adam smiled and took a seat in Drew's chair. "Oh? Only me? Well, that's news."

Drew and I both stood up and let out a shocked breath. "You asked her out?" Drew asked. Adam nodded, unable to contain his excitement anymore. "That's great Adam!" I said, bumping fists with him. Drew slapped his brother on the back. "Amazing!" he said. "You managed to find a date, and I still can't!" Adam laughed at his brothers shocked expression. "Well, I guess that makes me the only guy on this team to get an actual date in a while!" He said, a smug expression dominating his face as he leaned back in his chair.

Drew leaned his arm on Adam's shoulder. "Actually, Eli might be getting pretty close to scoring a girl." Adam leaned forward quickly, causing Drew to lose his balance again. "Wait a minute!" He said, his eyes brightening up. "You're telling me that cynical, arrogant, forever alone, Elijah Goldsworthy" his voice quieted slightly at the use of my full name. "Has a girlfriend." I held up a hand as Drew spoke for me. "He's close to one. He was flirting with her and holds her hand." Drew wiggled his eyebrows at me.

"That's not-"I began, but Adam cut me off. "That's great!" he said, standing up and holding up his hand for a high five. "We can double date, we can see movies together, we can-"

"Adam" I cut him off. "I think you might be getting a little ahead of yourself." Adam smiled sheepishly. "Oh yeah, you're right. You and this girl aren't even dating. Hey," he said, squinting slightly at me. "Speaking of that, _who _is she anyway?"

I shot my eyes downward, unable to meet his gaze. "Uhm…well…"

"Is it Hannah?"

"No."

"Is it Jess?"

"No."

Adam's voice dropped to a quieter tone. "Is it Sadie?"

"What? No!" I cringed at the thought of dating Dave's girlfriend.

"Really? It's just that whenever we talk to her it seems like she's a little bit interested in you, and whenever Dave isn't around she-"

"Oh for God's sake Adam! It's Clare Edwards!" Drew stated loudly from behind him, growing tired of his brother's talk. Adam's eyes widened and stared, his hand that was once raised for a high five now curling into a fist. "Eli" his voice shook slightly. "Please tell me Drew is joking." I shook my head, unable to meet his gaze. Adam stepped away from me and began pacing. "So you mean to tell me, that of all the girls in this entire place, _you had to like the illegal arms dealers daughter!"_

My eyes flickered to the window, where Clare is still being questioned by Simpson. Her back is to the wall so she doesn't see us. I turned my attention back to Adam, who was currently fuming.

Drew stepped forward and touched Adam in an attempt to calm him down, but Adam shook him off. "Do you realize who her father is?" he asked, stepping towards me so his face was mere inches from mine. "Her father _killed-"_

"I know what he did!" My head snapped up. "You don't need to remind me."

"Obviously I do!" Adam hissed. "Considering the fact that you're not really taking this very-"

"I don't even really like her Adam!" I cut him off. "I just find her slightly attractive. It's not like we're going to go get married or pull of some Romeo and Juliet bullshit." My teeth grit together.

He doesn't even know Clare. Then again, neither do I, however I understood that she isn't her father. She seemed kind, innocent. Quite frankly I was shocked that she and Edwards were even related.

Adam stopped pacing to look at me again. For a brief moment, I wondered what he saw. His best friend who was telling the truth, or a liar, desperate to convince himself of what would be the logical thing to say.

"So what you're saying is…you'll get over her?"

I stared at him for a moment, finally grasping how conflicted he was. On the one hand, this was a giant step in getting on with my life and moving on from my past. But on the other hand…it was _Randall Edward's daughter._

His eyes invaded mine, desperate for an answer I didn't have.

I stiffly nodded my head, and Adam let out a tiny, relieved sigh. "Good." He walked up to me slowly, timidly, and gently touched my arm. "It would only end badly dude. Trust me." I felt a surge of anger rush through my body at his words, but it disappeared quickly. Adam was only trying to take care of me. After all, I seemed pretty incapable of doing it myself.

Adam must have sensed my uneasiness and let go of me. "You sure you can get over her?" he asked. I looked up at him and grinned. "I got over Sadie, didn't I?"

We all laughed at my joke, and Drew stepped beside Adam, completing our circle.

The tension seemed to have completely dissolved when Adam murmured "Clare Edwards" Drew and I blinked at him, unsure of what he would say next. He looked at me. "Why Clare Edwards? I mean, you can have any girl you want. Why Clare Edwards?"

Then, the door opened and we all turned. Simpson walked out, and held the door open for Clare. She stepped out of the questioning room, and I fully took her in for umpteenth time today.

She was wearing a turquoise dress that compliments her incredible curves. Her cinnamon colored curls bounced with every step she took, and they framed her porcelain face perfectly. She walked out with an air of confidence that most girls wish they had and she kept her head held high. Her makeup was minimal. She only wore a thin sweep of eyeliner on her top lid, which drew even more attention to her eyes. _Her eyes._

They were innocent like a child, but deep like the ocean. They were a gorgeous shade of blue and for some reason; I couldn't take my eyes off of them.

I don't realize that Drew and Adam are staring at her as well, Adam for the first time, having not realized she was here the whole time in the questioning room.

Adam made a noise that was crossed between a choke and a gasp. His lips formed a circle, and allowed him to say one word.

"Oh."

I tore my eyes from Clare to look at them both. Adam's eyes are wide and amazed; like the first time I took him to eat a cheeseburger (his mom had never let him have one.) His eyes quickly scanned her body, before retreating back to her face.

Drew was staring at Clare like she was a piece of meat, and I knew that I would have to stop him from flirting with her on more than one occasion.

Suddenly, I felt incredibly jealous. I don't want anyone looking at her. I want to hide her away from the world and keep her for myself. I want to hold her, and touch her, and-

_Kiss _her.

My mind snapped back to reality at that last statement. I must be crazy. I must be really fucking crazy to want that. I must be fucking mentally insane to want to _kiss_ Clare Edwards, daughter of an international arms dealer and murder.

But for some reason, and the realization hits me like a ton of bricks, _I do._

Simpson clears his throat and all three of our heads snap to him, awaiting orders. "Will one of you please take Miss Edwards to our holding cell?" He asks. His tone is polite, but his eyes say _"Quit staring at her like teenage boys or I will fucking kill all of you"_ All three of us nod and step forward to escort Clare. Simpson coughs. "Only one will be necessary." He says, glaring. I'm the closest to Clare, so Simpson nods at me and passes her off.

"Drew, Adam" he says to them both. "I'm going to need one of you to monitor our questioning session with Helen Edwards."

Clare and I are halfway out the door when she overhears that statement. She turns, and my CIA instinct kicks in and I clutch her tighter." My mother is in this building?" she asks. Simpson nods swiftly. "Will I get to see her?"

I look at Clare, her baby blue eyes full of hope, and I want nothing more than to give her anything to make her happy. But Simpson merely shrugs slightly and responds "Perhaps."

Clare opens her mouth to speak but I pull her out of the room before she can get a word out. Once we are outside the room, she huffs at me. "I wasn't through talking to him you know." She says, and I begin walking, pulling her behind me. "Oh, I know." I respond. "But you wouldn't get far begging with him." She snorts slightly. "I wasn't going to beg. I was going to negotiate." I cast my eyes in her direction, but continue walking. "Negotiate what?" I ask, my curiosity piqued. "Information in exchange for seeing my mother." She responds as if it were obvious. This causes me to stop and look at her. "So you _do _know something." I say, and my lips turn up at the corners. Her cheeks turn slightly pink and her eyes stare at the floor as she realizes her mistake. "I never said that." She says. She begins to walk quickly, but I don't move. My arm snaps her back towards me and she falls into my chest.

She looks up at me and tries to free herself, but I gently grab her other wrist. She stops fighting me and looks up at me. "Tell me Miss Edwards." I breathe and I feel her shiver. "What exactly do you know?" She blinks and bites her lip, and _fuck_ she is so close that I could almost make brushing her lips against mine look like an accident. I want her so badly that I'm overcome with the feeling of it. I think of the CIA, Simpson, Adam, her father, and the million other reasons we wouldn't work, but to be honest _I just don't give a shit. _I gaze into Clare's baby blue eyes and she looks into my jade ones, and it almost looks like she wants to kiss me as badly as I want to kiss her.

She stares up at me for a few more seconds, and just before I'm about to lean my head forward, she responds "Nothing."

She pulls herself from my grasp and this time, she distances herself from me. I feel a sense of déjà vu as I remember when she climbed out of the car. Clare's voice is quiet. "Holding cell is the third door on the right, correct?" I nod my head. Her cheeks are stained pink and this makes me smirk. She smiles softly at me before turning on her heel, and I follow her like a lost lamb.

Clare is sitting in the holding cell when I walk in. I reach for the keys and begin to lock the door. "We'll come and get you when your next questioning session occurs." Clare nods and continues to smile, seemingly oblivious to her surroundings. She stands up and walks to the small, open window at the edge of her cell. "How did you get mixed up in this?" she asks. I grin sardonically.

"My father got me the job."

I turn to put the keys back on their hook and walk over to where she now stands.

"Actually, your father got me the job too." I turn back to Clare, and I'm feeling quite grim and slightly angry. Her head tilts slightly. "My father?" she asks and she seems genuinely confused. I lean forward slightly. "Codename Bullfrog. Ring any bells?" It probably didn't. Her father probably killed so many men that he didn't even bother keeping track.

But then, her face twists into one of complete sorrow. "Oh my. You're Bullfrog's son." I stare at her, confused. "He told you about Bullfrog?"

Clare nods, and I could have sworn her eyes were glistening slightly. "My mother, she found out that he had a wife and a child-"her eyes widen with realization. I was the child. "She was…she was furious with my father. My father assured her that the CIA was filled with cold blooded killers, like he was." My eyebrows rise at her description of Edwards. "She didn't know that they had families." Her voice cracks at the end and she drops her head. I move my hand through the window and pick up her chin. Her expression is one of complete guilt, despite the fact that she's done absolutely nothing wrong.

"I'm so sorry." She whispers to me, and I desperately want to forgive her. However, she has nothing to be sorry for. I shake my head. "You didn't murder my father."

Slowly, my fingers move to wipe her tears and I swear her lips part slightly. My fingers pull away from her cheek, but my hand is still under her chin. I slowly lean forward. "Clare…" I murmur. "Hmm?" she says and her eyes slowly close. "You have no idea…how badly-"

"Eli?" Adam's voice rings from the end of the hallway.

_Dammit._

"Yeah?" I ask, not moving my face away from Clare's. I want to stay like this. Just for a bit longer. "We need you back here." He says, and he sounds a bit troubled. I let out a sigh and begin to pull away from Clare.

Then, she moves her hand from the inside of the cell to the back of my head. She pulls me closer and I don't stop her. Then…

She kisses me.

Her lips press to mine and I respond instantly, cupping her face in my hands. Our lips move in synchronization and I haven't felt this way in ages. My tongue glides along her bottom lip, asking for entrance and she happily obliges, opening her mouth ever so slightly. My tongue slides into her mouth, exploring every part of it. She lets out a little noise that sounds incredibly similar to a moan and suddenly, I want to rip the metal bars that separate our bodies. I can't get enough of the feeling of kissing her. It feels like I'm flying, like I'm _finally _alive, after all these years. My lungs beg for air, but I could care less. I only care about this, about her, and us.

She pulls away from me, and the only sound in the room is our ragged breathing. Our foreheads touch and she grins at me. "Go" she whispers and reluctantly, I pull away. I give her a longing look and she giggles. "I'll be here when you get back." She says, and I smile at her, and this moment feels too real and too good to be true, but it is. "Promise?" I ask.

She looks at me with her beautiful blue orbs and I can't help but feel incredibly special. "I promise." She says and I walk backwards out of the room.

I hum to myself as I walk down the hallway, but when I enter the room its back to business with Adam. But my insides still buzz and my mind still races from kissing Clare. Adam turns around and he seems a bit out of it. "Dude," I say. "What's wrong?" I look past Adam and see Mrs. Edwards, Simpson and Drew in the questioning room. Drew and Simpson are both looking at each other in mild shock, while Mrs. Edwards looks like she just told the biggest secret of her life, and she's shaking slightly. I look back at Adam.

He speaks slowly, as though he is choosing his words carefully. "We found out who Edward's successor is." He states.

"Who is it?" I ask, my mind racking through all of Edward's closest associates and henchmen that Edward's would have chosen. But I stop when I look at Adam. His always cheery expression was contorted into one of surprise, but deeply troubled. I looked at him, waiting for an answer.

Adam stared at me, as though he didn't understand the words he himself says.

"Its Clare."

. . .

**Sorry I didn't update last week, family stuff. Also, sorry this chapter is a wee bit slow, I just had to fill in Adam and Drew's perspective. Also, on a side note, I will always be a FADAM fangirl:) **

**You kittens better prepare yourself for next chapter though. Something big is going down:) **

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	4. A Mountain In The Middle of The Cabins

"_Crying now. Through a rusted smile she knows this isn't how he paid the bills before."_

**-"A Mountain In The Middle Of The Cabins" Panic! At The Disco**

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Panic! At The Disco

**Thanks for all the reviews you guys! I'm actually looking for a beta reader in case anyone is interested. PM me if you are. **

. . .

My mouth can't seem to manage any words whatsoever, and that is probably because my mind has slowed down significantly. _Clare Edwards_ is his successor? The girl I just passionately kissed is supposed to be an illegal arms dealership's leader? How is that possible? How could she possibly be his successor? This is impossible. Adam is wrong. It can't be Clare. She doesn't know the first thing about his business! She doesn't even know-

"_I wasn't going to beg. I was going to negotiate._

"_Negotiate what?"_

"_Information in exchange for seeing my mother."_

Fuck.

I open and close my mouth before speaking to Adam. But when I do, it comes out slightly strangled and confused. "What?" I ask.

Adam runs a hand through his hair. "Helen Edwards cracked. We showed her the email and she just…she just confessed."

I cocked my head to the side. "Just like that?"

Adam nodded and snapped his fingers. "Just like that."

I cross my arms over my chest and turn to stare at Helen. She appears nothing like her profile states on the CIA's computer database. The database's Helen Edwards was cool, calm and collected. But the real life Helen Edwards? Not so much.

Several strands of her dark, straight hair stood up, causing her to look like she just got out of bed, but purplish black bags under here eyes indicate that she hasn't slept in quite some time. She nervously fidgeted, tapping her knee excessively, and picking at her fingernails.

I turned back to Adam, who was jotting down notes in a spiral. "What if she's lying?" I asked. Adam looked up for a minute. "Why would she lie?" I shrugged. "To protect her husband."

"Ex-husband." Adam corrected and I waved my hand at him. "Why would she put her own daughter on the line to protect her ex-husband?"

Again, I shrugged. "Maybe he still pays her bills, maybe he'll hurt her if she doesn't throw us off his scent, maybe she's still in love with him. There are a number of reasons as to why she would try to protect him."

Adam considered this before striding to the door and opening it. "Well why don't you put your little theory to the test?" He said, motioning his hand to indicate that I should walk in.

I straightened my shoulders. "You want me to question her?" Adam nodded. "Since you seem to have a pretty good idea about this situation, what with your theory and all." I held up a finger. "But I didn't mean that I should question her on it." Adam put his hand on my back and attempted to push me in. "Who better than you? It's your own theory. Now go." He said, and managed to get me through the doorway. I turned around to give him a playful glare. "I'm telling Fiona you're forcing me into things." Adam shook his head and smiled. "Yeah yeah, just go and do your job hotshot." I smirked and turned on my heel.

"Gentleman." I said, addressing Simpson and Drew. "If you could leave Mrs. Edwards and me alone, that would be amazing."

Simpson and Drew both stood up, and made their way to the door. Simpson stopped walking when he was directly in front of me. "You can handle yourself?" he asked. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "Of course." I said. Simpson nodded and followed after Drew to exit the room, shutting the door behind him. I took a seat on the opposite side of the table that was facing Helen Edwards. "So," I began. "How are you-"

"Ms. Edwards." She states, her voice clearly shaking. "Sorry?" I ask, not knowing what she's saying. "Ms. Edwards." She repeats and she looks pained. "Not Mrs. Edwards. Miss."

I realize what she means and my mistake. I smile slowly. "My apologies." She merely jerks her head up and down in response. "So, Ms. Edwards" I say, starting completely over, but this time I try a different approach. "What are your feelings toward your daughter?" Ms. Edwards looks me in the eyes for the first time. "Darcy?" she asks, and I can tell she's avoiding the question. "No" I say. "Your other daughter, Clare."

Ms. Edwards looks away from me then, and her fidgeting becomes more noticeable. "She was never supposed to get mixed up in this nonsense." She whispers and I feel my breathing slow, as if it's making too much noise and I need to hear every word coming out of Helen Edward's mouth because it's that important. "Business and family were supposed to be two completely different concepts. That's what he promised." Her eyes find mine again and she bites her lip like I saw Clare do just earlier today. "I didn't know what plans Randall had for her until it was too late. Until his will had been rewrote, the business information changed, and all of his" she swallows. "Company notified."

Her eyes appear slightly glassy as she pours out the story she has been withholding for years. "I tried to stop him. I tried to convince him otherwise. Clare couldn't be a part of this. She's too innocent, she's too naïve." Ms. Edwards chokes back a sob and looks at me. "She's just a child."

I lick my lips before speaking. "What was your ex-husband's response to that?"

She shook her head. "He didn't listen, of course. He never listens to me, let alone any form of logic." I shift uncomfortably in my seat as the Edward's marital problems slide into the conversation. "He said "A girl like her needs to be hardened to face the real world. I don't trust anyone else with my business except for her." And for a brief moment, a smile graces her face. "He loves her immensely, Darcy as well." Then she looks up and stares me square in the eyes.

"You have to believe me." She says. "Clare has no idea that she is his successor. If we don't tell her, then she never has to know. That puts an end to this all." She hooks a piece of hair behind her ear.

It is at this moment that I realize that Ms. Edwards was not at fault here. She merely fell in love with a man she thought she knew. Randall Edwards is the only one who should be punished. Not Helen, not Darcy, and especially not Clare. Randall simply took them down with him when he fell.

Slowly, I reach my hand over and place it over Ms. Edward's own. She looks a bit shocked, but doesn't pull away, so I take that as a sign to continue. "You would like that, right?" I ask quietly and her eyes widen and she stares at me. "You just want this all to be over. So you can get on with your life, and leave this all behind."

A lone tear falls from Helen Edward's eye, moving down her cheek. "Yes" she whispers. I stand up, remove my hand from hers, and smile. "Don't worry Ms. Edwards. You're going to be able to do that."

She stands up quickly and envelopes me in a motherly hug as she begins sobbing uncontrollably. "Oh, t-t-thank you s-so much!" she says and tightens me in her arms. I cough slightly and pat her shoulder uncomfortably.

She releases me from her grip and begins wiping her eyes. "It may take some time, possibly days, maybe a few weeks, but we're going to get you out of here, and you can restart your life. Alright?" She nods and her face breaks into another tiny smile. I turn and walk out the door, making sure to lock it behind me.

. . .

The first thing I hear is a catcall from Drew. "Ow ow Goldsworthy!" he says, wrapping his arm around me. "Getting it in at Cougar Town I see?" I glare disgustedly at him. "You're a weirdo Torres." Adam laughs and one look from Simpson silences us all. "Goldsworthy" he stares at me. "Do you believe her story?"

I look around at all three of them. "Yes." I answer honestly. "But I think we need to keep them a while longer, just to see if they might be withholding any more evidence."

Simpson nodded in agreement. "Drew? Escort Mrs. Edwards back to her original holding cell in building 4C." Drew grins and winks at me. "Time for Drew to get some cougar action" he says and runs through the door.

From behind me, I hear Adam make a gagging noise. Simpson directs his attention to the two of us. "Alright, one of you is going to need to spend the night here with Clare Edwards. Monitor her behavior; see if she admits to anything. Which one of you is up for it?"

"Eli will." Adam pipes up and I turn to him in confusion. Adam smiles at me in an understanding way and I realize that Drew must have said something to him while I was out, something to make him understand and accept my attraction to Clare.

Simpson gives me a questioning look. "Uhm…yeah. Sure I will." I accept, trying not to look too excited. A whole night alone with Clare Edwards. Simpson smiles briefly before walking out of the room.

I look at Adam again. "Thanks." I say and he continues to smile. "If you're really attracted to her, then you should go for it. It shouldn't matter who she is. Sorry I didn't realize that before. It's been ages since you've found someone you actually like. You're my best friend. I just want you to be happy." I grin. "Quit acting like a chick man." I say and we both share a laugh.

. . .

The old office is dimly lit, but the six members of the organization can be seen due to the lamp sitting on the edge of the desk.

"Why the fuck are we here?" one of them growls, the girl on his lap nodding in agreement. "If Edward's got caught, than what's the point of all this shit?"

"Calm down Milligan. Do you really think I would have gathered us all here if we had nothing to discuss?" Coyne's voice crept through the room, as he sat in a chair in the front, a cigarette hanging lazily from his lips.

Milligan grumbled under his breath, and wrapped his arms around his girlfriend, Macpherson, who had joined Edward's team mere months before he was captured.

"So why are we here Coyne?" DeSousa asked, checking her nails for any chip marks.

Coyne smiled, and it appeared evil and slightly eerie in the light. "We're getting our leader back." He said.

All five of the other members of Edward's closest panel of workers gave Coyne their full attention after that statement echoed in the room. Coyne was silent, taking a long drag from his cigarette. He cleared his throat before speaking. "All we need to do, is infiltrate the CIA base, figure out where Edward's is being held, and get him out undetected."

He leaned back in his chair, obviously impressed with himself, while the other members looked at him like he was crazy.

Owen spoke first. "How the fuck do we plan on doing all of that Coyne? This would be our hardest mission yet, and it's going to be a hell of a lot harder without Edward's guiding us through."

Coyne smirked.

"Oh, Milligan. Don't you realize that tasks like these are so much easier when you have someone on the inside?"

The other members looked at each other a smiled as the realization hit them.

A dark figure, the sixth member of Edward's panel who was sitting in a chair off to the side, suddenly perked his head up. Coyne chuckled when he took note of this.

"Yes Martin, I'm talking about your beloved Clare."

. . .

**You guys like it? I'm actually quite proud of this chapter.**

**I also apologize for that last part to be so vague and small. I don't want to give anything away now do I? ;)**

**Also, sorry this whole chapter is so small. I just really want the events taking place next chapter to be all together in one chapter. I'll make it up to you guys with an earlier update and some snacks, cool?**

**If you liked this chapter or just the story in general, give it a review, because they make me smile :) **


	5. Nine In The Afternoon

"_And we know that it could be. And we know that it should. And you know that you feel it too."_

**-Nine In The Afternoon" Panic! At The Disco**

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or Panic! At The Disco

"And then Darcy and I shoved the cake into my moms face" Clare gasped out between giggles. I laugh loudly and it echoes slightly in the tiny room. "Wow. It sounds like you guys had a lot of fun in Tokyo." I said, leaning back in my chair.

Clare is unlocked from her cell and sitting cross legged in the chair beside me and we have been discussing anything and everything. It's currently eleven oh four p.m and the topic is her family.

"We had fun everywhere we went. It was just the fact that we were together that made it so exciting." She smiles, and it appears distant, as though she's reliving the past.

"What changed?" I asked, and her eyes shift to her hands. "When did it stop being fun?"

She shrugs slightly and I know she is lying. "You can tell me." I press.

She sighs. "It stopped being fun when my father created his own illegal arms dealership. He barely had any time for us anymore after that. The only time I ever got to see him was during meals, and even that was rare." She looks up at me again and smiles weakly, letting me know that she is keeping her composure for the sake of the story.

"Then he and my mom started to fight. Darcy started partying to get away from it all. I was so young. I didn't know what was going on until" she stops and I notice that her chin trembles slightly, as though she is holding back tears.

"Until my mother kicked my father out of the house." I place my hand over hers and nod understandingly. She swallows audibly before continuing.

"After that my life was pretty normal. My mother, Darcy and I moved to Toronto and I started going to a private school. Darcy moved to Kenya to join the Peace Corps and to help build schools. Then I went to Degrassi." She grins. "I met Alli and Sav" my hand tightens on hers at the mention of a male name. She giggles. "Just a friend." I nod, and decide to go on with the mention of boys. "Did you…have any boyfriends?" I ask uneasily. She nods.

"Only one. KC Guthrie. It ended when he cheated on me." I feel my breath hitch when she says that. How could anyone cheat on Clare? How could you possibly get any better than her?

I click my tongue against my teeth to show my disapproval and she laughs. "I'm over it." She says with an air of finality, and I can't help but admire her.

"So what you're saying is" I smirk. "You don't have a boyfriend." She is silent for a moment, which isn't the reaction I expect. Then, she giggles again. "Yes. I am. Why are you asking?"

I lean forward so that our noses touch and I hear her breathing slow. "Just curious." I say and I capture her lips in mine. Her arms wrap around my neck and grab my hair. My tongue glides into her mouth and she hums a bit and I grunt. Then, she pulls away.

"We can't do this." She says, and she looks extremely guilty. "We can't?" I ask and she shakes her head furiously. "No. We can't. You work for the CIA. It's your mission to kill my father." I open my mouth to say that we might not kill him, but she silences me with a wave of her hand. "We could get into a lot of trouble."

"That's all true." I say truthfully, bobbing my head. "But, what thing you didn't include as a reason." She looks at me curiously and I smirk again. "Is that you don't have any feelings for me."

She looks down and the blush that I now love is back on her cheeks, giving her away. "We can't be together" she repeats, but I'm not letting her go that easily. My smirk grows wider and she stands up. "I'm tired." She says and walks into her cell. "I'm going to sleep." I follow her into the cell and she steps away. I take a step forward, she takes a step back. We continue this process until her back hits the wall and her eyes widen in shock.

"Just tell me you don't have feelings for me, Clare." I whisper huskily and my body presses into hers. "Tell me that, and I'll leave you alone." Her lips part and she moves her face closer to mine. I slide my arms around her waist as she stares at me through half-lidded eyes. I brush her lips with mine and whisper "Last chance."

Her eyes have now closed fully and I press my lips to hers. For a moment she doesn't respond and I begin to pull away, fearing that I moved too quickly, but then she kisses me back with passion I wasn't aware anyone possessed. Once again my tongue moves into her mouth, coaxing out her own tongue out to play.

I know that this is moving fast, but I'm a greedy bastard so my hands begin to travel down her thighs and she moans quietly in response against my lips. Suddenly, my phone rings, startling us both and we pull apart, our breathing ragged. I move quickly over to the phone and answer it.

"Hello?" I say impatiently. "How's she doing?" Adam's voice asks.

"She's fine. I told you guys I could handle her." Adam chuckles. "It's not her I'm worried about. It's your raging sexual hormones." I roll my eyes when I hear Fiona giggle and I know she and Adam are hanging out again. "I'll be fine Adam." But I look over at Clare and she smiles at me. "You just worry about your girlfriend." I smirk as Adam begins stuttering. "S-she's n-not my…my g-g-girlfriend."

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Just have some fun man. Live a little." Adam sighs happily. "Night Goldsworthy." My smirk morphs into a smile and I'm genuinely happy for him. "Night Torres"

I hang up the phone and turn to Clare, who still has her back up against the wall. "Was that your partner?" She asks. I nod. "One of them."

"And he has a girlfriend?" she questions and I chuckle. "Even CIA members have girlfriends Clare." She giggles. "I know" she says. I lean forward and press my forehead against hers. "I found you." She smiles. "So we're official now?" she asks. "Do you want to be?" I ask her, looking deep into her eyes.

She pretends to think for a moment before responding "Yes".

I kiss her softly. "But no one can know." She says. I wiggle my eyebrows at her. "A secret relationship? Sounds kinky." She rolls her eyes and playfully pushes my shoulder. "You're so gross Goldsworthy." She states, but I can tell she doesn't mean it. I kiss her again and the words just slip out. "Eli."

She pulls back to look at me. "Pardon?"

I blink and even though my mind is begging me to halt, I continue. "That's my name. My first name. It's Eli." I haven't shared my first name with anyone besides Adam and Drew. It's against CIA policy and my stomach churns slightly as I realize what I've just done.

Clare stares at me before her face breaks out into a wide smile and she wraps her arms around my neck and her fingers play with my hair. "Eli" she repeats. "I like it." And the feeling in my stomach goes away when she says that. I laugh and press my forehead against hers again. "Where were we?" I ask and I see her try to hide a yawn.

"You're tired" I notice. She shakes her head. "I'm fine. Really." I give her a devious smirk before picking her up bridal style and chuckle as she squeals. "It's not a problem Edwards." I say, carrying her to her bed inside of the cell. "Too much of me can tire one out."

She giggles and it rings through my ears like the sweetest sound I've ever heard. I lay her down on the bed and press a kiss to her forehead, and she pulls me down to reach her lips. I feel her smirk against my lips and I pull her bottom lip between my teeth. "Goodnight" she mumbles against my lips and I allow her to fall down onto her bed. I make sure to lock the cell before making myself comfortable in the one of the chairs where Clare and I once sat.

I didn't intend to fall asleep, but I don't fight it when my eyelids begin to droop and sleep overtakes my body.

"_I'm telling you Eli people keep fucking following us!" _

"_And I keep telling you that you're fucking crazy!" _

"_How do you explain the black vans that are always everywhere we go then?"_

"_There are hundreds of black cars in fucking Toronto Julia!"_

"_But all of these cars have the same license plate!"_

"_You're being fucking ridiculous Julia!"_

"_You're being fucking blind Eli!" _

"_Just SHUT UP!"_

"…_fuck you."_

"_Julia, I didn't mean it like that-"_

"_Yes you did Eli! You want me to fuck off!"_

"_There you go again! Putting damn words in my mouth!"_

"_Fuck this. Fuck you. I'm leaving."_

"_Julia…"_

"_Leave me alone."_

"_Jules-"_

"_LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!"_

_. . . _

I wake up in a cold sweat and immediately check my surroundings. I notice that I'm still in Clare's cell room. I press a button on my phone and the glow of it fills the room. "Three a.m" I mutter. I press my body against the chair again, praying for a sleep that never comes until hours later.

. . .

I open my eyes groggily and sat up. Rubbing my face tiredly, I stand up. "Clare" I say, still rubbing my eyes. "Time to wake up and get ready for questioning." I open my eyes fully now. "That'll be a load of-"

She's gone.

Instantly, I'm panic mode, running into the unlocked cell. "Clare?" I call out frantically. "Clare!" Fuck fuck fuck. "C'mon." I muttered. "Where could you be? Shit shit shit. My ass is fired when Simpson finds out I lost-Clare!" I shout as she walks into the room, a piece of toast in her hand. "Goldsworthy!" she says, mimicking me, and I wonder why she's calling me by my last name. "How did you get out?" I ask her, walking out of the cell. "Agent Torres let me out." She states, shrugging her shoulders. "Torres?" I question

As if he had been called, Adam walks into the room. "Morning sleepyhead." He says, his mouth full of eggs. Clare winks at me. "Worst CIA agent ever." When Adam's back was turned, I smirk and wiggle my eyebrows at her. She blushes, obviously remembering last night. I feel relief wash over my body as I notice that her face was void of any regret, only happiness.

Adam swallowed his food. "Alright Clare, we're going to take you to see your mother today." Clare's eyes brightened immensely. "Really?" she asked, swallowing her toast. Adam nodded. "As soon as you finish breakfast." Clare dropped her toast. "I'm done." She stated. "Take me to see my mother." She near commanded Adam.

Adam looks reluctant at first, but as soon as Clare flashes him her baby blue eyes, he melts. "Alright" he says dreamily and she smiles smugly. She links her arm with him and they begin to walk out of the room. Clare turns around to face me. "Well?" she asks. "You coming?" I think it over for a moment before trailing after her.

. . .

"Clare!" Helen's voice shouted as soon as we walked through the door. "Mom!" Clare replied, running forward as her mother threw her arms around her. Ms. Edward's hands touched Clare's face as her eyes scanned her for any sort of damage. "Are you alright?" she asked. Clare nodded and hugged her mother again. "Yes. Are you alright?" Ms. Edwards let out a dry sob. "Yes dear. I'm so sorry we're here. This is all my fault." Clare pulled away from her mother, shaking her head. "No, it's neither of our faults. It's dad's fault." Helen Edwards shifted uncomfortably. "Speaking of your father." She gestured to a seat and Clare immediately sat. Helen looked to the two of us. "Won't you sit down?" she asked, as though she was inviting us into her home. Both Adam and I took a seat, I next to Clare and Adam next to me.

"Your father won't communicate to the CIA." Her mother began. I looked to Adam and he nodded in conformation. "I tried to talk to him," she continued. "But he won't listen. He'll only listen to one person." She finished and all of our gazes fell on Clare. "Me?" she squeaked in surprise. Ms. Edward's nodded. "He wants to speak with you. Mr. Simpson said it would be alright and he's willing to leave you two alone, as long as he can monitor your conversation."

Clare turned her body to Adam and me, but her eyes were fixed on me as an uneasy expression fell upon her. "I'm not sure I want to talk to my father." She said honestly. I nodded understandingly, and my hand touches her knee and Adam raises an eyebrow at this. "It would help us a lot if you would though. I get it if you decide not to, but it would make our job a whole lot easier, and we would be able to get your mother and yourself out of here sooner." I swallowed as I realized my truth. Clare would leave soon.

Clare seemed to realize this as well as uncertainty danced in her blue eyes. "Alright. I'll do it for my mother." She says and turns to her smiling parent. "Thank you Clarebear." She says and I was to laugh at the nickname, but Adam elbows me in the ribs.

"Great!" Adam says, and both women look at him, finally taking notice that there is another person in the room. "We'll set the meeting up for later today." Clare appears shocked. "Today?" she repeats. "Yeah" Adam says. "We have to get this done as soon as possible. We want to get you guys out of here, right?"

Clare and I exchange glances, and we both know that our answer to that would be better left unsaid.

. . .

Unfortunately for Adam and the CIA, we have to wait a number of days to schedule the meeting between Clare and her father. Fortunately, that gave Clare and me time for us. When Adam, Drew and Simpson weren't around, we roamed the halls of the CIA building, even sometimes going outside. I remember one visit in particular when we had escaped to the field behind the building just as the sun was setting.

"_It's so beautiful!" Clare had called out, twirling around and running barefoot. I laughed. "You've been at the CIA for over a month now. They had to have let you out sometime". Clare shook her head as a smile grew on her face. "Only on the pavement right by the door" she said, continuing to twirl. "Never in the grass, never in such an open free area." She had stopped spinning to face me. "Never with you." She stated._

_I smiled, something I had grown accustomed to while I was around her. I stepped over to her, careful not to create any clues that we had been out here and wrapped my arms around her waist and looked down at her. _

"_You're beautiful." My words slipped out and I didn't regret them. Clare was, in every way possible, beautiful. _

_Her face heated up at my comment and I pulled her closer to me. I stared into her eyes and saw nothing but affection, something I had craved for so long. "So, so beautiful." I said again and this time, she pressed her lips to mine. Then, she broke away from me, but I still heard her whisper "I'm not as beautiful as you would think." _

_I walked behind her and touched her hand. "I know you Clare Edwards." I stated and she turned to face me. "I know that you love Palahniuk, but you have a soft spot for Kurt Vonnegut. I know that you miss your sister terribly, and wish that she could come home to comfort you. I know that you love your best friend Alli, no matter how insane she is. I know that you are one of the kindest, most caring people I have ever met in my life. I know that you are able to see the good in people, no matter how bad they really are. And," I wrapped my arms around her. "I know that I am desperately afraid of falling for you. I don't care how cliché that sounds." _

_She giggled, and it filled my ears and flew through my entire body, making me feel light hearted and joyous. "I'm not worried about that." She murmured as I pulled her in for another kiss. "Why is that?" I asked her. _

_She blushed slightly again and said "Because I've already fallen for you." _

That was the moment when I realized I was in love with Clare Edwards.

. . .

"We need to make sure everything is in order." Simpson said when the topic of Clare and her father's meeting was brought up. "Edwards is a conniving evil mastermind and this is his first time coming in contact anyone besides the CIA since his capture. Clare isn't as smart as we are in this field. She could let something slip about the windows and Edward's could turn it into an escape plan."

Days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months before Adam finally put his foot down. "We need to schedule a meeting." He told Simpson one day while we were all eating lunch. "Today."

Edward's raised an eyebrow. Adam had never attempted to take charge like this before. "I've already talked to the group down in Montreal. They've agreed to ship Edwards first thing next Wednesday." Drew looked up from his meal. "Edwards is in Montreal?" he asked, his mouth full of hamburger. Simpson laughed slightly. "Yes Drew. He's staying in a much protected, high security prison. Surely you didn't think that we just keep him around here, do you?"

Drew looked down and began stuffing his face again to avoid responding. I cleared my throat to make my presence known in the room. "I'll go tell Clare that she'll be meeting her father next Wednesday." Adam smirked knowingly at me and I rolled my eyes in response. Simpson nodded and I turned to make my exit. "She's in the computer room." He said. I stopped in my tracks. "Why is she in the computer room?' I asked. "She's spending some time working on her homework from her school.' Adam stated as though it were obvious. Drew swallowed. "The nerds let her do whatever she wants. They have a cruushh on her." He sang. I felt my heartbeat speed up before I mentally hit myself. Of course other guys were interested in Clare. That didn't mean she was interested in them.

However, that thought didn't calm me down as I sped down the hallways. Then, I heard a giggle, followed my male laughter. My eyes narrowed as I whipped my head to the source. The computer room. I stepped in to find Clare sitting on Dave's desk as he, Connor and Wesley were all attempting to make her laugh. "Clare." I stated and all of them became silent, except for Clare who was still giggling. "Yes?" she asked, between gasps of breath. "Your meeting with your father has been arranged for Wednesday." I said through grit teeth. Clare stopped laughing and she swallowed nervously at the thought of seeing her father. "Oh…uhm…right. Okay then." I turned to Wesley, Connor and Dave, who were currently staring at Clare, their eyes glazed over completely. My eyes darkened in anger. "You guys mind giving us a minute?" I spat out. The three boys snapped out of their trance and cowered in fear at my expression. "Uh, yeah s-s-sure Goldsworthy." Wesley said. "Agent Goldsworthy." I barked at him and Wesley's eyes widened and he scurried out of the room without another word, Connor following suit. Dave however, stayed behind and placed his hand on Clare's thigh. "I'll see you later. Alright?"

To my surprise, Clare smiles and nodded enthusiastically, unaware that Dave was flirting. Dave grinned, and turned around to leave, and I gripped his shoulder tightly, while pushing him out of the room. "I wonder what Sadie would think if she knew her boyfriend was trying to flirt with some other girl." I growled and Dave attempted to pry himself from my grip, but to no avail. "You wouldn't tell her. Would you?" He asked in horror. I leaned down so I was eye to eye with him, and that only seemed to scare him further. "Not if you stay away from Clare." Dave gulped and nodded, before frantically running off to join his friends. I smirked, satisfied and walked back into the computer room, only to find Clare, off of the desk, and tapping her foot.

"I heard all of what you said to Dave." She told me and I lowered my head sheepishly. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

I placed my hands into my pockets and spoke. "He was…he was touching you…and he had that, that cocky, _flirtatious_ tone. He looked at you like you were something to be bought!" I felt fury rise up in my chest. "I wonder if he got very far." I said, turning to run and attack Dave."

Clare walked over quickly, reached her hands up, and touched both sides of my face, instantly calming me down. "Are you…_jealous?_" she asked in amusement. I turned away swiftly, grunting in response. "Oh my…" she said and began laughing. I looked at her. "This is not funny!" I said despairingly. She continued to laugh until I said. "I'm leaving." And began to make my way out the door. "Wait" she called out, wiping budding tears from her eyes. I stayed in my spot in the middle of the doorway. "I'm sorry." She said, coughing a bit to cover up her laughter. "It's just you don't look like the kind of guy that would get jealous." She eyed me.

I ran a hand through my hair and said exasperatedly "I'm not. This is all fairly new to me, these feelings." I moved my hands between her and me to emphasize my point. She nodded. "Me too. I've never actually felt this strongly toward another person before, and it kind of scares me." She admitted. "Yeah" I agree and she grins again in disbelief. "I can't believe you're _jealous!_" she said, not bothering to cover up her laughter anymore.

I growled slightly before grabbing her hand and pulling her body towards mine, smirking when she gasped. I pressed my lips to hers and wrapped my arms around her waist in one smooth motion, and she pulled on my collar, desperate to get me back inside of the room. I stopped kissing mouth her to attack her neck. She moaned when I struck a particular spot and I began sucking on it. "Eli" she calls out, and the excitement of getting caught turned my on even more. She says my name again and I honestly don't care who hears it, because it's falling from her lips like a chant and I wouldn't have it any other way. I remove my lips from her neck, careful not to leave a bruise, and move them to her ear.

"You're mine." I murmured and she nodded, her face painted scarlet. I smirked and walked down the hallway and back into Drew, Adam, Simpson and my lunch room, leaving Clare slightly dazed. Before I entered the room, I called down to her "Remember! Wednesday!" Clare nodded her head slowly and I winked at her, before heading back into my room.

**. . .**

**Well. That was eventful-**_**ish.**_** I really wanted to put Dave, Connor and Wesley back into the fic. They'll provide some nerdy humor to this story, and I think you guys are going to like it:)**

**Sorry about all of these make out scenes and such between Eli and Clare. I'm trying to get in as much Eclare fluff as I can before this shit gets real. But, I think you guys will be pretty pumped when it does. **

**Next chapter, we're going to learn some new things about Clare, as well as Edwards and Eli too. **

**See you guys next Sunday:)**

**-Maya**


	6. Camisado

_"It's not so pleasant and it's not so conventional. It sure as hell ain't normal, but we deal, we deal."_

**-"Camisado" Panic! At The Disco**

"What happens if he asks me about my mom?" Clare asks us again, and Adam and I exchange an exasperated look. It is time for Clare to visit her father, and she has been playing the "what if" game with us the entire walk down here.

"Clare" Adam tries to sound patient but her name comes out as a tired groan. "We've been through this. If he asks you a question that makes you feel uncomfortable, just blink twice and tap your knee. We'll take care of the rest. All you need to do is have a simple, completely normal conversation with your father about his work." Clare lets out a dry laugh. "You're right. This will be completely normal."

Simpson clears his throat, a sign that he needs all of our attention. "Alright Clare. Like Adam said, this will be a fairly normal conversation with your father, and you must behave as it is so." Clare huffs slightly and I smile. "But we're going to need the topic of escape methods come into it." Clare sticks her hip out slightly and places her hand on it, a sight which I find very attractive. "And how exactly do I work "escape methods" into the conversation?" she asks.

Simpson waves his hand dismissively. "That is up to you. We cannot plan this conversation. It needs to appear effortless. The point is, by the end of this visit, we need all of his escape methods. I'm talking about a where, when and how. Got it?" Clare manages to nod, though it looks like the nerves are getting the best of her. Drew lays a hand on her shoulder in a comforting way. "Don't worry. It'll be over before you know it and all of us will be right here by your side." Automatically, Clare turns her eyes to me and I look at her. However, Simpson's hawk-like eyes are right on me so I can provide no comfort to Clare without him suspecting anything, so I just nod and smile a bit.

We stop at a specific door that is labeled "DANGER: HIGHLY PROTECTED HOLDING CELL. DO NOT ENTER UNLESS ADVISED TO." but when Clare stops walking, it looks like she is rooted to the spot. Drew almost bumps into her, but Simpson catches his shoulder a step before he does. "Thanks" Drew mutters and Simpson chuckles. "Now remember what we discussed earlier. If anything dangerous occurs, Eli and Adam will take Clare and escort her to a safe room. Drew and I will take care of Edwards." He says. All of us nod except for Clare, who appears to be frozen. "Uh…can you guys give us a second?" I ask the three of them and Drew and Adam nod understandingly but Simpson seems apprehensive and suspicious. "I just want to give her a bit of a pep talk." I explain, and Simpson's expression softens and he nods as well. Then, he follows Adam and Drew into the room.

I turn back to Clare, who appears to be taking advantage of the fact that everyone's attention is directed elsewhere and she begins speed walking back down the hallway. "Clare!" I call out, but that only seems to make her walk faster. I run after and hold her hands in mine, partially to comfort her, but also to stop her walking.

"I can't do this." She says and she is shaking her head and her voice cracks slightly in nervousness. "I can't talk to him. I haven't talked to him in years. The last time I saw him we were talking about the custody arrangement and now you're asking me to get information out of him! This is ridiculous. This is stupid. I can't believe that I thought that I could possible-"

I press my finger to her lips, silencing her. "Clare" I say and my voice is soft and loving and it probably seems strange given my dark, scary exterior. "You can do this. I know that the man in there is a dangerous, cold blooded illegal arms dealer. I know that he's also a murderer and wouldn't give a second thought to shooting any man in this building." Her eyes bore into mine as if to say _"where are you going with this?"_

My hand caresses her cheek. "But deep down, he's still your father. I know he still cares for you. He'll confide in you. He said so himself. Remember?" Clare's bottom lip quivers slightly. "Alright." she says, and her quiet voice is filled with confidence. "I'll hold your hand under the table." I say and this makes her smile. I swoop my neck down and capture her lips in mine. I only mean for it to be a quick peck, but I don't stop it when Clare's arms travel around my neck and deepens the kiss. Her hands touch the back of my head and she presses her lips harder to mine like she'll die if she lets go of me. We pull apart, our breaths mingled and for a moment we don't seem like Agent Goldsworthy of the CIA and Clare Edwards, the daughter of an illegal arms dealer. For a moment we just seem like Eli and Clare, two normal people who are happier than they have been in ages. It's this thought and the fact that I am still drunk off of our kiss that causes me to whisper this against her lips.

"I love you."

Her eyes widen and she appears shocked, but she doesn't pull away, which is a good sign. "I…." she begins, but trails off and she bites her lip in an attempt to think of what to say. I take a step back, but still hold her hands in mine. "You don't have to say it back. I don't expect you to. I just wanted to-" She silences me by kissing me, and her body crushes into mine. "I love you too" she says against my lips.

My heart rate picks up and my breath hitches in my throat at her words. I pick her up and I spin her around and her mouth breaks away from mine to squeal and giggle, but I can't stay away from her for that long so I kiss her again. At this point I don't care if Simpson himself walks out and sees us because that won't change anything. It won't change her feelings towards me. She loves me.

_She loves me._

_She loves me._

_She loves me._

_**And I love her.**_

I set Clare down but her hands are still wrapped around my neck and she tugs at my hair. "As much as I am enjoying this, we should probably get back to the room." I steal another kiss from her and we hold hands as we walk back to her father's questioning room. "Are you ready?" I ask. Clare shakes her head and smiles, a blush painted on her cheeks. "Not in the slightest. Let's go." She walks into the room and I follow her, smiling until a thought comes to my mind. My breathing goes shallow and I feel as though I might faint. Every idea in my head clears out except for a single one.

_I have to tell Clare about her._

_I have to tell Clare about…Julia._

_. . . _

Randall Edwards does not jump up and engulf his daughter in a bone crushing hug like her mother did. He does not yell her name. A few tears do not slip out of his eyes. He does, however stand up to greet her.

"Hi Dad." Clare says simply and walks toward him. A handcuff links his ankle and the steel table next to him, preventing him from coming towards her as well. Edwards blinks a few times before whispering "Clare-bear."

He wraps his arms around her and Clare's arms, once hanging limply at her side, hug her father as well. I look away to give them even the slightest bit of privacy, but I still catch a few words.

"I'm so sorry." Edward's says and his words come out sincerely and truly, a tone I have never heard him use. "It's alright Dad." Clare says and my heart warms at how forgiving she is. Their moment is short lived however. Adam coughs loudly, almost obnoxiously and says "Sorry to ruin this little reunion, but we don't have all the time in the world here." Edwards and Clare break apart and Clare looks at Adam in confusion. His usually happy demeanor is replaced with a sour look of anger. She looks to me and I shrug, though I know why he is acting like this.

Drew and Adam are really step brothers. Audra Torres is Drew's mother and Omar Torres was Adam's father. Omar was Adam's best friend and helped him through the worst of times. He was the first one to be completely on board with Adam becoming an FTM. When Omar died, he was devastated and as I look at him now, he holds the same expression as when he first saw Edwards. I feel an incredible amount of pity as I realize that Edward's is getting the reunion Adam wishes he had. I place my hand on his shoulder and smile. He wipes his nose with his sleeve and gives me a small smile back and Drew puts an arm around his shoulder. "Shall we get started?" Simpson asks and we all sit down.

"So…Dad." Clare begins and Edwards smiles….lovingly? "Yes dear?" he asks and I cannot believe what I'm seeing, though Clare appears relieved slightly that her father is behaving in a normal manner. "How are you?" she asks and I cringe. But Edwards merely laughs. "Just peachy. And yourself?"

Clare laughs. "I'm doing fairly well. Mom is fine too."

Edwards tenses up at the mention of his ex wife. "Is she alright? Are they treating her nicely? Is she…happy?"

This confuses me for a moment. Most ex husbands wouldn't care so much about the whereabouts of their ex wife. But then, the conversation I held between Clare and myself when we spent the night alone in the building flashes into my mind.

_"What happened between them?" I ask when the subject of her parents come up._

_Clare is quiet for a moment, studying the ground as though it might have the answer. "She kicked him out. Quite forcefully actually. He begged her not to leave him. But in the end," her eyes turn glassy. "Begging wasn't enough."_

"You still love her." I say aloud and all eyes turn to me.

Clare looks shocked and the words coming out of her mouth are "Agent Goldsworthy" but her eyes say _"Eli."_

"This is not the topic."

_"Don't bring this up."_

But I can't help it. "You still love Helen." I say and Edward's eyes narrow. "That's Mrs. Edwards." He barks out and suddenly, I feel superior to him. I ignore Clare's desperate looks and continue. "Actually, I believe that it's Ms. Edwards. Isn't it?"

"Gold. Stop." Simpson says, but there is fire in my eyes and I feel powerful beyond belief. "You still love her. But she doesn't love you. Does she?"

"Goldsworthy" Adam says, and now even he is asking me to stop torturing Edwards. He touches my arm, but I pull it away. Edward's is glaring daggers at me and I am loving every minute of it. "How could she? You're a murderer."

"Shut up." Edwards grits out and I smirk triumphantly. "How could anyone love someone as horrible as you?" I ask.

"SHUT UP!" A voice screams and through the cloud of my anger, I recognize the voice as Clare. "Just shut up!" she yells and I feel myself shrink as I realize what I've done. Her petite body stands up and she shoves her finger in my face. "You have absolutely no right to talk to my father about anything of that nature. I don't give a _shit_ if you're in the CIA or not, I happen to know what is allowed to remain private in a subject's questioning, and his past love life falls into that category. So why don't you just listen to your group and ask the questions your boss ordered you to ask!" Her face is one of pure fury and I feel extremely guilty. "I'm sorry" I say truthfully and her eyes soften. "I know." she says and she sits back down. "Just…don't. Ok?" I nod and she nods back before turning back to her father. I lock eyes with Edward and he appears triumphant and I swallow my anger.

"Dad." she says and she sounds careful. "Does your group have any plan to break you out?" and we are all shocked at her bluntness. Adam, Drew, Simpson and I all lean forward, anxious to hear his response.

But Edwards simply throws his hands up in the air and says "Beats me."

I am almost positive that all of our mouths are hanging open at this point. Clare gathers herself together before speaking. "Are you serious?" she asks and Edwards nods. "It took them fifteen years to find me. We never thought an escape plan would be necessary. " There is a cocky tone to his voice and both Adam and I glare at him.

"But you had to have planned for one just in case." Clare tries and her father shakes his head. "What about Coyne?" she asks and I recognize the name. Agent Coyne. One of Edward's right hand men. "He plans for everything Dad. He must have thought up at least one plan for this."

Edwards licks his lips and twiddles his fingers in thought. "Well…I suppose he _might _have thought up some plan to break me out." Our interests are captured yet again as we realize that he is playing with us. "Really? What was the plan?" Edwards waves his hand. "There were several Clare dearest. But," he leans forward like a teacher about to tell a story and we all inch our chairs closer like his students. "There was one that he and I were particularly fond of."

"What was it?"

Edwards smirks and for some reason, I feel uneasy. "First, Agent Coyne sneaks into the CIA base and replaces this handcuff" he jiggles his foot slightly. "With a cheap, easily breakable one. Then, he hides in the ceiling panels." Edwards looks up and his smirk grows wider as though he holds a secret that all of us do not. "Then, my entire group breaks into the CIA main building and holds all of the employees hostage, preventing any of them from sounding an alarm."

My ears perk up and my stomach churns at how eerily quiet it's gotten outside. Edward's notices my expression and a dangerous expression dances in his eyes.

After that, three CIA idiots, and their foolish leader bring my daughter in for discussion." My heart jolts and I stand up, realizing for sure what is going on. Adam is right behind me, followed by Drew and then Simpson. Clare has frozen up again as she shakes her head in stunned disbelief. "No…No…Dad….you didn't."

Edwards holds up a hand. "I'm not done yet. Then, Coyne drops from the ceiling, we kill all of you, and my daughter, Coyne and I escape unharmed."

Then, a pair of legs drop from the ceiling. A young man, about my age lands on the ground and Edward's stands, ripping the fake handcuff from his ankle. "Coyne" he says smiling. "What a pleasant surprise. What brings you here?"

Agent Coyne smiles and well and says "Just in the neighborhood. Thought I'd drop by."

I want to laugh at this cheesy pun, but my heart is racing and I can't feel my legs. At this point, Clare has jumped from her chair and walks backwards to me. "Dad. Don't." She says and Edwards simply continues to grin.

"Oh Clare-bear. I already have."

Agent Coyne reaches into a jacket for his gun, and Adam screams "Run!"

Clare rips open the door open with surprising strength. We all bolt out and I grab Clare's hand. "Find an exit!" Simpson yells, the plan we had formed before the visit completely forgotten. "Make it to safety and call the others immediately!" He hits a button on the wall and a loud siren goes off, indicating that there are intruders in the building. "Come on!" I say to Clare over the sound and she nods. I cast one last look at Adam and Drew, who are going off in opposite directions. Then, I take off, dragging Clare after me.

"I'm so sorry!" She states and I bark out a laugh. "Typical Clare. Apologizing at a time like this."

"Where are we going?" she asks and I look back at her. Her hair is slightly ruffled and her big blue eyes are filled with fear.

"Our secret exit!"

"You have a secret exit?"

"Clare, we're the CIA."

"Right."

We take four flights of stairs and I pull her around a hallway. "It's right at the end of this-"

"Jake!" Her voice calls out.

A boy blocking the door turns his head at the sound of his name. He has shaggy brown hair and is wearing a suit. I have never seen him in this building, so I know that he does not work for the CIA.

"Clare!" he yells back and strides forward, arms open. I step in front of her and pull out my gun quickly. "Not one more step." I warn and he reaches for his gun as well. "Clare, who is this guy?" Jake asks.

"Agent Goldsworthy." I state through grit teeth. "Clare, who is this _boy_?" I put emphasis on the word boy and Jake glares at me. "Agent Martin. I'm here to rescue Clare."

I laugh. "Rescue her? From what? Safety?" Agent Martin jumps toward me and Clare screams. "Don't Jake!" she yells and all of a sudden, I hear three sets of running footsteps. "Hey!" A voice yells and I recognize it immediately. "Don't touch them!"

"Connor!" I yell and I turn to see Dave, Wesley, and Connor, all armed with guns. They are all wearing suits and standing in a triangle formation. A small robot stands behind Wesley, armed with a taser.

"Are you shitting me?" Agent Martin's voice asks behind me. "A bunch of nerds are going to fight me?"

A low growl rumbles in Connors chest and he lets out a battle cry. He runs forward and punches Martin straight in the mouth.

"We're not nerds! They call us the Three Tenners!" He yells and I part of me wants to laugh and cheer him on. But Dave runs up to us, hands Clare a gun and yells "Run!" and I nod. "Dave." I say before he can turn away. "You can hit on any girl, any time." Dave laughs and says "If I make it out alive."

"You will." I say and this gives him strength.

I grab Clare's hand and yell a quick "Thank you" but the Three Tenners are too busy kicking Martin's ass to hear me.

I push through the door at the end of the hallway and luckily, a CIA van is parked right outside. "Get in." I order Clare and she rips open the passenger door. I climb into the front seat and turn the keys and the engine roars to life.

"Where are we going?" Clare asks, her voice still laced with fright. "Ontario." I say and I hit the gas pedal the car takes off away from the CIA building and onto the road.

. . .

**I am so so so so so so sorry this chapter is late and not my best. Here's the story on that:**

**I had Chapter 6 and part of Chapter 7 on my laptop. But then it broke down on Sunday and I spent the entire day fixing it. Then I got really ill on Monday and Tuesday and I couldn't write because I didn't have a computer to work on. Then, I bought a new computer on Tuesday night. After school on Wednesday, my entire family and I had to drive to Georgia to drop my brother off at college. So now, as we were driving home, I wrote this. I can't promise you that Chapter 7 isn't going to be late, but I will be on time for the rest of the story, unless something else comes us (Hopefully it won't) **

**Anyways, I'll see you guys next week! ;)**

**-Maya**


	7. Nails For Breakfast Tacks For Snacks

_"Because your speech is slurred enough that you just might swallow your tongue. I'm sure you'd want, want to give up the ghost _

_With just a little more poise than that "_

**-"Nails for Breakfast Tacks For Snacks" Panic! At The Disco**

"Who's Jake?" I ask after a long period of silence. We have been driving for quite some time now and I choose to start a conversation with this.

Clare sighs and presses her fingers to her temple, massaging it gently. "He's just a guy that works for my dad."

"That you're on a first name basis with?"

She turns her head sharply. "What are you implying?" I shrug. "Maybe I'm on a first name basis with all of my father's employees." She says. "And Coyne?" I say, not taking my eyes off of the road. I can't look at her eyes and this bothers me greatly, but I hear her sigh. "I wasn't completely honest with you." My heart drops into my stomach at her words. "What do you mean?" I try to keep my voice steady.

"When I told you that KC was my only ex-boyfriend…I lied. I dated Jake." Relief washes over me at the word _dated_. "For how long?" I try to sound casual. "Three years." Clare squeaks out and I almost hit the car in front of me. "Three years." I repeat. "That long, huh?" Out of the corner of my eye, I see Clare nod. "Why did it end?" She looks down at her fingernails. "I decided to swear off anything that had to do with my father's business. That included Jake."

We are silent for a moment before I say "You're lying."

She looks up and blinks. "No, I'm not." I bob my head. "You are. You bite your lip and look at your hands when you lie. It's so you don't have to look people in the eyes." I raise my eyebrows and she shakes her head. "I think I know my own girlfriend Clare Edwards. Now, why are you lying?"

She looks out the window and mumbles something, but I catch it. "Because the truth hurts."

"Why is that?" I ask, growing impatient of her being so damn cryptic.

"He cheated on me with my best friend." Her voice sounds broken and I actually turn to look at her. When I do, I see that her blue eyes are shiny with tears. "Oh." I say, because I cannot think of anything better. She wipes away the tears and says "I'm over it. It's just a sensitive subject when brought up." I reach one of my hands over and grasp her own. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed it." She shakes her head again. "It's fine. You didn't know."

We smile at each other and she clears her throat. "So how long was your last relationship?"

_Oh. Fuck._

My stomach churns and I fight to keep my lunch down. "Uh…five years."

"Wow" Clare says and smiles. "Looks like you have me beat."

I laugh nervously "Yeah. Guess I do."

"Who was she?"

"…You don't know her."

"No, but I'd like to know _about _her."

I cough. "Why? How is that relevant to this?" I gesture wildly with my hand between us and try breathing in and out through my nose to settle my nausea. Clare's eyebrows slant downwards. "Eli. What are you hiding?"

_I'm going to puke._

"Nothing! Why are you so questioning all of a sudden?"

"Why are you so questionable all of a sudden?"

"You're being ridiculous Clare."

"No, I think you're being suspicious. I tell you everything about me and you can't give away one detail about your past? That isn't fair."

"_Life _isn't fair." I snap at her and she falls silent.

"Why are you being so mean?" she asks quietly and again I feel guilty. "I'm sorry." I mumble and I reach for her hand, but she pulls away and looks out the window. "Fine." I grit out and we are silent for the rest of the drive.

. . .

"Yeah Adam. Yeah we're fine. You ok? Alright. How's Fiona? Good. Alright. Give Drew my best. Bye." I hang up the phone and turn to Clare, who is reading a book on the bed. "Everyone at the base is fine. Your dad and his team escaped a bit after we did." She looks relieved, but still remains silent. "Adam is going to meet with us in about a week, along with Drew and Simpson."

Quiet.

Are you just going to ignore me this entire time?" I ask her desperately

"Are you going to tell me who your ex girlfriend was?" she asks, not looking away from her book.

"No" I state. I can't tell her. I haven't told anyone in years, and I'm certainly not about to start now.

Silence is her answer and I sigh in frustration. "I'm going out." I state and this catches her attention. The door swings open and she asks "Where?"

I laugh dryly. "Why do you care?" and the door slams shut.

. . .

"Excuse me." The middle aged man at the front desk looks up. "Yes sir?"

"I don't mean to be a bother, but my sister is upstairs in our room. And she isn't very well in the mind, if you know what I'm saying."

"Oh dear."

"Mhm. She's a bit delusional. If you could keep an eye on her, send her back up to her room if she tries to leave?"

"Of course, of course."

"Thank you."

"And are we talking about the female that walked in with you?"

"Yes sir."

"Her name please?"

"Clara Edwin."

"I'll take care of it for you."

"Thank you so much. And sir?"

"Yes?"

"I understand that you have a bar in the restaurant?"

. . .

"You guys a grreeaatt!" I slur to the three men I have met at the bar an hour earlier. They laugh in agreement.

"Excuse me gentleman?" The bartender says to me and I turn my head to him. "Yess my good man?"

"I'm afraid we're closing." and the three men and I groan. I chug whatever is left of my drink and it warms my insides and makes my legs feel like jelly. "Whatever bro." I say, stumbling as I try to get off my chair and begin to walk. "I've got to go back to my room anyway. Got a nice lady waiting for me up there." I wiggle my eyebrows at the guys, but stop as the realization sinks in.

"Oh no." I whisper. "Clare!"

. . .

I stumble into the room and yell "Claarree!"

I see that she is still on the bed where I left her except now she has a laptop sitting on her thighs and she is typing quickly. "Eli?" she asks questioningly and she snaps the computer shut. "Claaaaarreee." I slur out again and jump onto the bed. "Did you miss me baby?" She pushes me away with a look of disgust. "You reek of alcohol." and I fall backwards on the bed. "Oh thats right! You're still maadd at me cause I won't tell you about my ex-girlfriendd!" Clare chuckles at my drunken state.

"Lay down Eli."

"Don't be mad at me Claarree! I loveee youu!" and through my drunken haze I can see that she looks hurt. "Then why won't you tell me?"

I respond by kissing her fiercely and push her body back onto the bed. "Eli" she mumbles against my lips and I know that she can taste the alcohol and smoke on my lips, but she kisses me anyways. My fingers inch up her skin, trailing up her stomach. "Mmm?" I ask.

She pushes me away and the pain is back in her eyes. "Who is she?" she asks. I sigh. "Was."

"Was?" she looks confused.

"Not who she iss Clare. Who she wasss."

Her eyes widen and I laugh at her expression. "Does that mean that she's…"

"Dead!" I yell, finishing the sentence for her. Suddenly I'm crying and laughing at the same time. "She's dead! Ohhh my sweet Julia Hawthorne! She's gone Clareee!" I place my lips beside her ear and sing softly to her, reciting a song lyric that I had replayed over and over in my dark room as a teenager. My tears touch her cheek and my vision starts to blur, darkness threatening to consume me. But I still sing, the ghost of my past creeping up on my like an old friend.

_"So I sing a song of love, Julia."_

And then I black out.

. . .

**Yay! Early update! I might update again on Sunday, just to make up for my leaving. And plus, something big is happening next chapter. BIG. It was actually supposed to be a part of this chapter, but I cut it out. That's actually the reason as to why I cut it out. I want it to be an entire chapter of it's own. Plus I want the song to fit. Teehee. Anyways, I loves you guys sooo much for leaving me a bunch of reviews. I know this isn't the most popular fan fiction, but it still makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that people ready and enjoy my work.**

**Tumblr is verbal-acuity**


	8. That Green Gentleman

_"Things have changed for me and that's okay." _

**-"That Green Gentleman" Panic! At The Disco**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi or Panic! At The Disco **

"Fuck" I manage to groan out, though my throat is sore and my head is pounding. "What the hell happened?"

"You got wasted." Clare's voice says and I look to my left to find her fully dressed and frowning. "Did I?" I ask, using my remaining strength to laugh and fall back onto the bed.

"Here," Clare hands me an aspirin and I take it gratefully without water. "What did I do?" I ask nervously. Clare lays down next to me and says "Ran in, kissed me, yelled, and blacked out.

We both look at each other. Then, all of a sudden we break out into fits of laughter until our faces are red and our sides hurt.

"You told me her name." Clare whispers after the laughter has died down and subsided.

I break my stare from the paneling on the ceiling to turn on my side and look into her eyes. Her face looks kind, and this tells me that I have been forgiven for my previous behavior. "Did I tell you that she was…" Clare nods slowly, and I am relieved that I don't have to say the words. I lick my lips. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before." Clare moves closer to me and snuggles into my chest. "It's ok. I understand now." I pet her hair gently. "I guess I kind of have to tell you now." Clare looks up. "Not if you don't want to."

I look into her eyes for what feels like an eternity before saying "I want to. I trust you. Completely. You've been so honest with me. It's time for me to be honest with you."

She bites her lip and I take a deep breath and begin my tale.

"Julia Hawthorne was one of those girls that was beautiful in a special way. At first glance she just looked like another girl, but if you really took the time to get to know her, you would have seen that she was a truly amazing human being" I stop for a moment, remembering her and allowing the words to flow out. "I was one of the few people that took the time to get to know her. "

_"x minus eight divided in half to the third power is one." I muttered to myself, growing frustrated. "Solve for x." I threw my pencil down. "My ass." I began to collect my papers to leave the library I was currently in, when I suddenly heard a quiet voice. _

_"X is sixty-four." _

_I turn around, only to be faced with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. _

_She wore a Dead Hand shirt, with ripped tights. Her eyes were heavily lined with eyeliner, but I could still see that they were a beautiful shade of hazel. She holds a "A Man Without A Country" by Kurt Vonnegut. I want to tell her that he is one of my favorite authors, but my mouth can't manage to form words._

_"Wha…What?" I spluttered out._

_She smirked, and my heart picked up it's speed. "Sixteen minus eight is eight, divided in half is four. Four to the third power is sixty four." My mouth is slightly ajar and her eyes crinkle with her smile at my expression. "X is sixty four." She finishes._

_"Uh…thank you?" Her smirk grows into a smile as she walks over to the table I had been sitting at, taking the chair next to mine. "Here" she pats the chair next to her. "I'll help you with the rest." I slowly climb into the chair and she laughs quietly, so to not disturb the other people in the library. "I won't bite" she states and I smile back at her. "I'm Eli" I introduce myself. She sticks out her hand, and I note that the fingernails are colored in black with sharpie. "I'm Julia." We shake hands for a bit longer than necessary and this makes me happy._

_"Julia Hawthorne."_

"We started dating and…it was perfect. We understood each other and we told each other everything. I loved her." I remark.

_"Eli?"_

_"Mmm?" I ask. We are laying in bed and her head is on my shoulder. I'm reading "Fight Club" silently and she is drifting in and out of consciousness. "You love me, right?" _

_"More than anything." I respond immediately, smiling. "I love you too." she mumbles and I place the book on my nightstand to wrap my arms around her. "I know Jules" I say, rocking her body and holding her against my chest. "I know."_

I feel tears prick at my eyes and Clare wraps her arms around me. "But then," I say and I know Clare will hate this part of the story.

"Julia got really paranoid. She kept on saying that people were following us. I told her she was being ridiculous. This led to arguments, which led to other arguments. She kept on saying that we were being followed by these men in black cars."

"Were you?" Clare asks and I can only nod.

"But I didn't believe her." I whisper.

_"Is that the same car from the cafe?" She asks, moving closer to me as we walk home. I look over my shoulder to see a car driving slower than usual down the road. "Maybe" I say, not giving it much thought. "Are we being followed?" Julia asks and I laugh before noticing her scared expression. "Of course not Jules. It's just a coincidence." But that does nothing to stop the worry in her eyes._

"One day it got really bad and she left. She…she took off on her bike and she…" I can't look Clare in the eyes. "She got hit by a car."

_"Eli?" My father knocks quietly on my door, where I have been staying for at least five hours. Despite the fact that Julia and my fight was hours ago, my mind is still clouded with anger. "What" I spit out and he steps in, his face somber. "I have something to tell you." He says, and some of my anger washes away at his expression. "What happened?" I ask. "Is Cece okay? What happened Dad?" My father shakes his head, walks closer to me and wraps his arms around my shoulders. "Julia" he murmured and I feel some of his tears in my shirt. "Julia?" I ask, my voice shrill with panic, our fight completely forgotten. "What happened to Julia?" _

_My father pulls away. "She got hit by a car Eli." His voice is cracked, and now I feel my eyes grow moist with tears. I stand up. "Well then I have to go see her. Where is she? Toronto Hospital? That's the closest one. I'll be back tomorrow Dad." I am already halfway out the door when my father talks again. "You can't Eli." _

_I look at him. "I can't?" My words come out slowly. Bullfrog shakes his head. "She's gone." _

_I am quiet for a moment. "Gone." I repeat. Then, my knees buckle from beneath me, and I begin sobbing like a child on the floor of my bedroom. Bullfrog sits next to me, holding me. My cries rack through my body. She was gone. I would never see her again. My Julia was gone. Gone gone gone. Gone like when she had left after many of our fights. She had grabbed her bag and stormed out the door, only to come back the next day, both our words filled with love and apologies. _

_Only this time, she wasn't coming back. _

Clare covers her mouth with her hand. She opens her mouth to speak but I cut it off by saying "I'm almost done." She nods and I try to finish my story without breaking down.

"The car that hit Julia…was one of the black cars that had been following us."

"How did you know it was one of the cars that had followed you?"

I cleared my throat. "Because all of the black cars had the same license plates. _4121959"_

Clare pulls away from me completely. "That is my father's birth date." Her voice quivers.

I merely nod and hope I don't need to explain it further. Then, realization hits her eyes and she lets out a choked sob. "Oh my God. My dad…he…he-"

"Your father's employees were following my father and his family. Following me meant following Julia as well, since we were always together. Then, they wanted to get rid of someone. To warn my father. They chose the quickest option. Julia." I finish and Clare is crying. "I am so sorry Eli. I am so sorry."

I pick up her chin. "This is not your fault Clare. This is your father. You had nothing to do with it." I kiss her tears and then move to her lips. "I love you." she whispers. "I love you too." I say back and I am finally ready to be happy after Julia.

. . .

Clare breaks away from me again. This time, she looks nervous. "Eli…I love you. And because I love you…I'm ready."

I look shocked. "Ready to…"

"I want to make love to you."

My eyes widen and I eye the purity ring on her finger. "Clare." I say soothingly. "I'm not trying to push you into anything." She smiles. "I know. I want this. I've wanted this for a while."

"We don't have to." I press and she seems confused. "Do you not want to?" she asks.

"No!" I near shout, and then regain my composure. "No. I want to. It's just…I want to make sure that this is what you want."

Her eyes are full of sureness and she kisses me again. "It is. I love you Eli. More than anyone, and anything. I'm ready." And her statement is filled with so much confidence that I can't not believe her. "Alright." I say

She kisses me again and it's filled with love and compassion, something I have grown so accustom to with Clare. Her body presses into mine and I can feel need begin to boil in the pit of my stomach.

We continue to kiss and my hand reaches down to touch her waistband. "Are you positive?" I ask again and she giggles. "Yes, Eli. I love you."

"I love you too Clare."

. . .

My father told me that once you fall in love, you have this feeling of pure bliss, like you're the happiest you could ever be. I thought I had it with Julia, but for some reason with Clare it feels…better.

With Julia we were both quite strong energies. In our relationship, everything was too much. Clare is positive and happy and she makes me feel happy as well. With her there is just enough of everything. My brain and body are not on overload. I am content.

With Julia I felt like I wasn't completely happy, but it was the happiest I had ever been and I didn't want to lose it.

With Clare I feel complete and utter happiness. I feel…bliss.

My father was right. This is how love feels.

Our bodies are still tangled in the sheets. I have been watching the sun rising and the light hitting her bare body and all I see is beautiful. My body are slightly sore, and I don't move, for fear of waking her up. I turn my phone on and receive a few check in texts from Adam, and one from Drew that says something along the lines of _"You getting it in bro?"_ I roll my eyes, ignore that text and tell Adam that we are both fine, though I'm lying. I'm better than fine. I am bliss.

I kiss Clare's shoulder. I hear her giggle and I know she's awake. She rolls around to face me and covers her body with the sheets. "Good morning." She says happily and I peck her on the lips. "Good morning." She looks happy and void of any regret, but I still ask "How are you doing?", hoping that she will catch the deeper meaning.

She does, and I know this because she kisses me slowly and then says "I'm perfect Eli. How are you?"

"Blissful." She smiles. I feel like a complete sap.

"I wanted to give you this." She says. She sits upright, still using her left hand to cover her chest with the sheets. She twists her purity ring thoughtfully, before slowly removing it. I take it from her gently. "Really?" I ask and she smiles. "It's yours now." I study the ring and see that on the inside it says in cursive "True Love Waits"

She places her head in the crook of my neck. "I waited." she says. "And then I found you. I love you."

I slide it on the chain of my guitar pick necklace and I wrap my arm around her naked body. "I love you too." It feels like the millionth time I've said it, but I know that I will never tire of it falling from my tongue.

I sigh contently and turn on the television, my arms wrapped around Clare. We don't speak, we simply watch the morning cartoons like children, but it feels perfect all the same. Quietly, careful not to disturb her viewing, I turn my head and look at her. She is chewing on her fingernail nervously. For some reason, she looks guilty, but I have the strangest feeling it has nothing to do with last night. She has the same guilt in her eyes that Edward's had when he had apologized to Clare for getting her into this mess. The guilt of hurting a loved one.

Clare notices me staring and suddenly she is all smiles. "Yes?" She asks teasingly and I smile back. I turn my head and continue watching cartoons. Things go back to normal, however there is a strange feeling in the pit of my stomach, in the back of my mind, that this is all fake.

Ignoring my better instincts, I brush off this feeling, let it dissolve into nothingness, and allow bliss to wash over me again. This is how love feels.

But why all of a sudden does it feel wrong?

. . .

**Oh shit. All is not well in paradise. **

**You like this chapter? Be sure to leave it a review!**

**My Tumblr: verbal-acuity[dot]tumblr[dot]com**

**And again, I would just like to thank you all for supporting me in this story. It means the world to me. **

**Oh, and on a side note (probably not even worth mentioning) Something big is happening next chapter (Doesn't it always?). And someones getting hurt. One way or another.**

**Love you guys!**

**-Maya**


	9. Intermission

_"Ladies and gentlemen, _

_due to circumstances beyond our control, _

_we are unable to continue our broadcast of dance music._

_We shall continue now with our piano interlude."_

**-"Intermission" Panic! At The Disco**

**. . . **

**And that my dear children was your ninth chapter. :D You mad? Sorry for being so horrible, I just had like, three tests this week that I had to study for. Back to regular story time next Sunday, possibly sooner.**

**We are just about at the midway point in our story, and I feel as though we have a good enough bond to warn you about something:**

**Shit is going to get intense.**


	10. Bittersweet

_"Everything I do is bittersweet. You could tell me secrets that I'd probably repeat. I'm not trying to hurt you. I just love to speak."_

**-"Bittersweet" Panic! At The Disco**

"I've always wanted to be an author." Clare tells me and I study her. "Is that right?" I ask, grinning and she nods, her curls bouncing slightly. We are both sitting together on the hotel room's bed, flipping through magazines when she tells me this.

"Why an author?" I ask and she looks at me as though the answer is obvious. "Because I enjoy writing."

I laugh and say "Is that right?" sarcastically.

"Writing is a risky business." She cranes her neck to stare up at me. "How so?" she asks me, curiosity dancing within those eyes I have grown so accustomed to seeing every day. "What if you don't get published?"

She scoffs. "Are you implying that my writing is bad?" she says playfully and I grin again. "I wouldn't know. You never let me read anything." She breaks away from my eyes and presses her cheek to my chest again. "Maybe someday." she murmurs and I smile.

"What did you want to be when you grew up?" she says and I lean my head against the back of the bed and allow my thumb to rub circles on her back. "I wanted to be an English teacher." I remember and lick my lips. "I wanted to help the next generation learn more about proper literature rather than spend all their time in front of the damn T.V." Clare giggles. "True" she agrees and looks up at me again. "But you are helping the next generation. You're protecting them from harm." I wave my hand sarcastically. "Saving their lives versus teaching them about good literature. C'mon Clare. Is it really a contest?" We both laugh together, and Clare stops to yawn.

"Tired?" I ask her and she nods. I continue rubbing her back with my hand. "Go to sleep." I tell her. "We meet with Adam, Drew and Simpson tomorrow." She mumbles something about not being sleepy and wraps her arms tightly around me. I chuckle. "I'll still be here." I say, mimicking the words after our first kiss. I feel her smile fondly against me, and I know she remembers. Her hand reaches for her old purity ring on my necklace and she rubs it happily before dropping her fingers into my palm. "Promise?" she asks me softly.

"I promise." I tell her, and she speaks no more.

After about fifteen minutes, I ease Clare off of me to use the restroom. But as I wash my hands, I notice that my shirt is stained with small water droplets around my chest and frown. I examine them further, and realize that they are tears. She was crying.

_She was crying._

. . .

I can't sleep for the rest of the night, and apparently, neither can Clare. She wakes up around three a.m and sees my wide eyes. "What are you doing still awake?" she asks me. I ignore the question. "Why were you crying." The pain of knowing that she is silently suffering is eating me up inside and finally I can't hold it in anymore. I need to know why she is hurting, and why she can't share it with me.

Her gaze falls downwards, and my stomach clenches uneasily. "It's just my dad. I'm worried about him. He's somewhere out there, and my mom is-"

"Liar." I state and she looks at me. "You won't look at me when you talk. What's really wrong Clare?" She doesn't answer, but through the darkness I see her chin tremble. I wrap my arms around her. "What's wrong?" I ask again, softer and soothingly this time. Now, I feel her hot tears fall onto my shoulder. "I'm an awful human being." she whispers, and it seems like she is saying it more to herself than to me. "No, you're not." I state confidently. She rips herself out of my arms and flings her body onto the bed. "I'm a monster." She sobs into the comforter and I touch her back. "Is it because of what we did last night?" I ask hesitantly. Clare sits up immediately. "No. Oh God no." she cries out and cups my face in her hands. "Eli, you have done absolutely nothing wrong." she says to me. "All of this is my fault."

I look at her in confusion. "Clare, what are you talking about?" I touch her hands on either side of me face. Her face is rigid and solemn, like she is at a funeral. "Would you ever regret loving me?" she asks in a low voice. "What? No, of course not." I say. She pulls her body closer to mine and sits on my lap, her legs on either side of my waist. "No matter how horrible I am?" she asks, her face close to mine.

I stare into her eyes and realize that she is having a mini panic attack. Her hot breath comes out in short huffs and it tingles my lips because she is so close. "No matter how horrible you are Clare Diana Edwards, I will always love you. Nothing will change that." I press my lips against hers and she kisses me with a fiery passion that I have not known. She pushes her chest against mine and wraps her legs around me and I let out a low groan. "Clare…" I murmur and she pulls away.

"I'm not Clare." she states and I know that now we are back to me trying to decipher Clare's cryptic words. "You're not?" I ask and she shakes her head and peels her body away from mine. "I'm a monster. Monsters don't have names. They don't need them." She crawls under the covers and pulls her knees to her chest like a child. "Why don't monsters need names?" I ask and her chuckle comes out dry and hollow, like a piece of her is missing. "Clare" I say her name. "Answer me." I can see her silhouette turn and look at me. Her eyes are glassy with tears.

"I can't answer you." she says. "Monsters don't talk. They just destroy." And Clare Edwards, the monster speaks no more. She simply closes her eyes and falls asleep, exhaustion finally taking it's toll. I collect her limp body in my arms and wipe the tears from her cheeks. "You're not a monster." I whisper to her, hoping her subconscious can hear me. "You're the most beautiful human being I have ever known." And I fall asleep with her body against mine, listening to her now calm breathing.

. . .

The first thing I notice when I wake up is that Clare is not by my side. "Clare?" I call out to the hotel room. "In the bathroom." she answers. "Are you okay?" I ask slowly. "I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" my eyebrows slant downwards and I climb out of bed, changing into a pair of jeans and black shirt. "Do you not remember last night?" I say confusedly. "Uh…Can we not talk about this right now?"

I pull on my blazer and walk over to the bathroom. "Clare, you are acting really-" I choke on the rest of my sentence and silence falls onto the room like poisonous gas.

Agent Coyne is standing behind Clare, his arm securing her body and a gun pointed to her temple. "Morning Agent Goldsworthy. Care to take a walk?" I bite my lip and look at Clare, whose eyes are wide with fear. I attempt to stay calm for her sake. "Agent Coyne." I acknowledge. "What are you doing here?"

Coyne laughs, and Clare winces, like it is causing her physical pain every time he moves. "I think it's fairly obvious what I'm doing here, but if you need a further explanation, come with me."

"Sure" I answer. "Just let Clare go." Agent Coyne smirks before slowly walking past me and opening the door. "I don't think so Goldsworthy. C'mon. We'll go to the roof. Everyone is just _dying _to see you." I gulp, wondering who "everybody" is before saying "And if I don't?"

Agent Coyne looks mildly surprised, as though he wasn't expecting that to be an option. "Then I kill her," he gestures with his chin towards Clare. "And then I kill you."

My breathing slows. "You wouldn't kill her. Edward's wouldn't allow it." But Coyne stares at me with an intensity so strong I break his gaze, and when I look back, flecks of insanity dance in his eyes. "Do you want to take that chance?" He asks, smirking. He already knows the answer, and so do I.

We board the elevator quickly, making sure no one sees us, before taking the first door on the left labeled "ROOF: EMPLOYEES ONLY" I climb the steps and when I open the door, the sunlight blinds me momentarily. As I adjust, Adam's voice calls my name. "Goldsworthy!" he yells and I see that he is with Drew and Simpson. "Guys!" I begin walking over to them, but Agent Martin blocks my path. "I don't think so." he says smugly and pushes me back toward Coyne.

I look around me and see some vaguely familiar faces. Agent Milligan, Agent Desousa, a young female agent that I cannot seem to recognize, and Edwards standing in front of them as their leader. "Welcome, Mr. Goldsworthy" he says, smiling. "Edwards" I spit out. "How did you find us?" he wags a finger dangerously close to my face. "Ah ah ah. Do not disrespect me young man. Your father made that mistake, and look where he ended up." My fists clench and a low growl rips through me. Edwards smirks, knowing he has hurt me by mentioning my father.

"You've got us here at your mercy." I spit out to Edwards. "What I want to know is how you managed to do so."

Edwards raises his eyebrows in mock surprise and responds "You still don't know? My, my Eli. You're not a very good spy are you?" My heart rate increases when he uses my first name. "How do you know-"

"I mean, really." Edwards continues. "How could you not notice the one person that you thought you loved, was destroying you, right under your nose?"

I blink, and the earth seems to stop as my gaze shifts from Edwards to Clare, who is standing next to Agent Coyne. Her eyes are filled with tears, her face full of apologies.

No.

_No._

"Clare" I whisper and she pulls away from Coyne, running towards me quickly. "Eli, I'm so sorry. I never meant for you to be hurt like this." She reaches to touch my hand, but I jerk away. "How could you." I whisper, but it doesn't come out like a question, because I know the answer. She did it because she was an Edwards girl. She did it because I was weak, and an easy target.

My world goes blurry for a moment and I think to myself _"This is a dream. It has to be a dream. Clare would never do this."_ But as I blink repeatedly and attempt to wake myself up, I realize that this is in fact happening.

Edwards voice sounds far away as he laughs. "It was quite easy, wasn't it Clare-bear? Pretend to fall in love with you and you opened up like a vault."

My heart cracks at the word _pretend_.

She never loved me.

"No" Clare sobs out and I can't bring myself to look in her eyes. "It wasn't all lies Eli. I really do love you."

"Nonsense Clare." Edwards says briskly. "You don't need to keep up the charade any more."

Clare shakes her head furiously. "No, no no! I love you Eli. I do, I promise. They would hurt you if I didn't-"

I laugh without humor. I find my voice, and the pain rips my body apart and travels up my lungs, giving me strength. "So, what? They would hurt me if you didn't tell them every last damn detail? Is that what it is? You were just trying to _help_ me? Well, I can honestly say, you should have saved yourself the effort, because there is no way that any other option could hurt more than this."

Clare's tears are streaming down her cheeks, and no matter how angry I am, I cannot help but still love her. Maybe that was my mistake in the first place. Loving her despite everything.

"You don't love me." I conclude shortly. "No, No Eli I _do_-"

"No! I yell out, and everyone else on the roof seems to vanish. "If you really loved me, you would have stopped. You would have stopped when I told you that I had been hurt before, when I told you about Julia, you would have stopped if you loved me." She doesn't speak, so I continue.

"You, Clare Edwards, are not a monster." I admit. "But you are, despite my efforts to believe otherwise, an Edwards." Tears leak out of the corner of my eyes, breaking my cold exterior. "And that's pretty damn close."

She chokes out a sob as Coyne walks over and collects her in his arms. Adam moves forward slowly and places his hand on my shoulder, whispering an "I'm sorry" as if that will change everything and make it better.

Edward's looks at all of us, Simpson, Drew, Adam and finally me, and I could have sworn that an expression of guilt flickers in his eyes. "We're not going to kill you." He says finally, and his voice is soft. The members of his team appear shocked. "But sir-" Milligan begins but Edwards puts up a hand and he falls silent. "But we have all the names and descriptions of nearly all the agents on your team, so you're going to have to start over completely, relocate, and find yourself new employees. It will take years to get back to where you are today, and by then you won't have the slightest clue where my team is. We have won, yet again." He smiles in satisfaction, but it appears slightly cracked. "Good day gentleman."

And with that, Edwards wraps an arm around his sobbing daughter, and they exit the roof.

Agent Martin and Agent Milligan are the last to leave, making sure that we all know that we will be shot if we try to follow them. Once they leave, it is just Adam, Drew, Simpson and I.

I turn to them slowly, unable to meet their eyes. "I'm sorry." I whisper. Simpson places a hand on my shoulder. "It's alright" he responds and I look up in confusion. His eyes are filled with acceptance and knowledge that I have failed to see in the past months.

"You knew we were together." I state. Simpson nods sadly. "How?" my question falls out. He smiles, and he appears a hundred years older. "You cannot hide that kind of love." He merely responds.

My legs buckle from underneath me, and I feel a sick sense of deja vu wash over me as I begin to cry. Adam and Drew come closer, sitting on either side of me. They do not talk, they simply hug me and allow me to cry.

The sobs come out quickly, and there is a stab in my heart every time I take a breath. Clare's purity ring hangs around my neck like a broken promise. The wind blows harshly on all of us, but we do not leave the roof. We do not leave because down there, the real world awaits, and you are not allowed to be cry and be vulnerable in the real world. I have made that mistake.

I shake uncontrollably at the thought of the real world that awaits. I think of the CIA, and all of it's workers who will now have to relocate. I think of Adam and Drew, who have spent so long trying to bring down Edwards, only to have me screw it up. I think of Simpson, who must deal with all of my horrible mistakes.

I think of all of these things as I cry on the rooftop, but the main reason for my tears is not the CIA, Adam, Drew, or Simpson.

It is of Clare.

Clare, the girl who used me to help her father, Clare the girl who tricked me, Clare the girl who pretended to love me.

Clare, the girl who I can't help but love now.

Clare, the girl who left my life just as quickly as she came.

And now she is gone. Gone in a similar sense to Julia, but not at all actually. I want to laugh at the insanity of it all, but I'm not sure my body will do anything except cry.

My hands press into the roof's ground and my breathing grows ragged. Eventually, I become silent, my cries tearing the energy out of me. "I'm sorry." I repeat for the final time. Adam offers me a soft smile.

"It's ok." he says.

I feel my chest constrict and my heart cry out in agony at the realization that his statement is a complete and utter lie.

**. . . **

**Fun fact: I teared up a bit while writing this. **

**Sorry for the late update! Yours truly managed to get sick yet again.**

**I also apologize if this chapter appears rushed and/or thrown together. I wrote it in about two days and I just really wanted to get it up here. **

**Sorry for hurting you guys!**

**-Maya**


	11. Nearly Witches

_"You have set your heart on haunting me forever from the start. It's never silent."_

**-"Nearly Witches" Panic! At The Disco**

When I was ten, my mother and father got into an argument over a broken vase.

Bullfrog and I had been playing catch inside, even though Cece specifically told us not to, and I had thrown it too far and it had hit the face square in the center. It smashed into a million pieces.

Cece had come barreling down the stairs, screaming and yelling, asking if we were okay and what was going on. But the minute she saw the broken vase and the baseball lying beside it, she flipped out. She began screaming at both of us, asking who threw the baseball. I had gulped nervously, but before I could timidly respond, my father swooped in and took the blame, saying he threw it and merely didn't know his own strength. Apparently, the vase was passed down as an antique from Cece's grandmother, and she was fairly upset. Bullfrog however, growing up without much of a family background, failed to see the importance of a vase. They argued over it for a week until finally, Cece ran away to her mother's house to cry her sorrows to someone who understood. She only stayed for two days, but in that small amount of time, my father fell apart. He didn't eat and he didn't sleep. He only took care of me with empty eyes. He spent the rest of his time on the couch, staring into nothingness or in his tool shed.

By the second day, I felt fearful for my father. The way he was acting was something I was not used to. Bullfrog was usually so full of life and now it seemed that with Cece gone, all of his happiness left as well.

So after lunch, after Bullfrog went to his tool shed, I picked up our house phone in my small hands and dialed my mother's cell phone number.

"Mommy?" I had said, my voice shaking. "Eli? Baby boy, are you alright?" She sounded worried.

"I broke the vase." I sobbed, clutching the phone like a teddy bear. "I didn't mean to, it was an accident. Please don't blame Daddy. Please come back home."

"Oh sweetie that's not why I'm angry." She said soothingly, but I wasn't listening. She sighed. "I'm coming home."

Twenty minutes later, Cece walked in the front door. "Mommy!" I cried out, running towards her. She picked me up and hugged me, accepting all of my mumbled apologies against her shoulder.

"Eli?" My father called out. "Didn't I tell you not to open the door to-" He stopped speaking when he saw my mother. "Hello" Cece said quietly. Bullfrog didn't answer, he simply turned around and went back to his tool shed. We were both confused for a minute, but he came back, and when he did he produced an object.

It was Cece's vase, glued all back together. Not like new, but certainly not as broken as it was before. Cece stared at the vase, then back at my dad, before setting my down and flinging her arms around Bullfrog. "I'm sorry honey." he said and she kissed his with a sense of love and forgiveness I still marvel at today.

Now, in the present, I look at myself in the mirror, recognizing the numb look I had seen on my father's face so many years ago. An empty, lonely, tortured look in my eyes, with a feeling in my heart to match. I leave the bathroom, slamming the light off with annoyance, mostly due to the fact that it is the first light I have seen in days, but also because I cannot take out my frustrations any other way. I sulk back to my bed and climb under the covers, inhaling deeply. The bed still smells vaguely of her, and I am still intoxicated by her lavender scent. A tear leaks from my eye and I brush it away quickly.

It has been two and a half weeks since I last saw Clare. Simpson ordered us to stay where we are, and not travel anywhere. He was working to relocate the CIA, and if he needed us, we had to be there immediately. Staying at the hotel was fine with me. I spent an unhealthy amount of time replaying Clare and my conversations over and over, and the rest of my time was spent wallowing in heartbreak. I eat little, and I have a horrible case of insomnia. This is what my father felt when his love left him, only Cece came back.

Clare Edwards is not coming back to me.

_"Why would she?" _I think to myself. _"She got all the information she needed."_

_"But maybe she really loves you." _An optimistic thought reaches me and I brush it away, like I have with all signs of hope lately.

_"She doesn't love you. She was just doing what she was told. Besides, why would she love you?" _

I pull the covers over my head to avoid looking at the slivers of sunlight that manage to escape the blinds I have closed. There is a knock at my door and I show no intention of opening it, but the visitor begins to knock to the beat of "Paisley Jacket" Adam, Drew and my favorite song by Dead Hand. I sigh, recognizing our secret knock and trudge over to the door, opening it slowly. Adam walks briskly through the doorway, Drew following behind with a stack of DVDs and box of pizza.

"What are you guys doing here?" I grumble out, closing the door. "We're here to get you out of your funk." Drew declared, throwing open the pizza box and taking one out. Adam shows me the DVDs. "You need a good guy's day to forget about…_her."_ He says gently, avoiding her name. I glare at my shoes, hating how they are treating me like a glass doll. "I'm fine" I state half heartedly and Drew snorts. "Yeah man. You seem fine to me." I growl and Adam shoves Drew. "Like it or not, we're here to stay. You need to forget her." He looks me square in the eyes, and I want to cry like a child all over again. "She isn't coming back."

I sigh heavily and fall onto the bed. "You got any SAW movies in there?" I ask and they both smile. "All of them" Drew says. "Which one are we watching first?"

. . .

Drew and Adam are passed out on the couch near the front of the hotel room and I am laying soundlessly on the bed, staring up into the darkness. Insomnia has taken over yet again and this time, I don't fight it. Adam and Drew's guys night has helped, but not cured me completely.

I close my eyes and attempt to sleep, but her laughter rings in my ears and her face is all that I see behind my eyelids. She is ripping me apart and she isn't even here to see it.

I allow myself to wallow in self pity for a few moments more, and then I open my eyes again. As agonizing as exhaustion is, I decide that it is better than the alternative of remembering the perfection that I have lost.

There is a sudden pounding at the door and it startles me. I walk to the door, shaking Adam and Drew awake as I move. "Wha?" Drew says sleepily, rubbing his eyes. "Someone is at the door." I state, twisting the doorknob. The door swings back to reveal Simpson. He appears wide awake, although there are bags underneath his eyes that signify that he hasn't gotten much sleep either. "Mr. Simpson?" I ask in confusion.

"We got a tip." He says hoarsely.

Adam and Drew join me in the doorway. "What do you mean?" I ask, not believing my ears. "We got a tip that Edwards is hosting a party in the States, celebrating his rise to power again. All of the agents will be there, along with Edward's criminal associates." All three of our mouths drop open, but Simpson doesn't have time to speak. "We're leaving on a plane to Illinois in twenty minutes. I've already started to contact the other members. Pack up your things."

He begins to close the door, but Adam's places his foot in between, making it impossible. "Wait a minute" he says suspiciously, now fully awake "Who gave you the tip?" Simpson looks to me, then back to him before smiling faintly. He passes off a piece of paper and moves briskly away, a skip in his step.

Adam carefully unfolds the paper, reading it quickly. He then laughs in disbelief. "What?" Drew and I say in unison. "You're not going to believe this guys." Adam says, shaking his head. He hands me the paper and I begin to read. The top portion of the note is an invitation reading the date, time and dress code. However, the bottom half is written in perfect handwriting that I cannot mistake.

_Come in through the back door. A girl named Alli Bhandari will be waiting there for you. She will escort small groups to designated areas. When the midnight bell chimes in the east end of the ballroom, count to ten before making your move. Be careful. _

_I am sorry for getting you all into this mess. I attempted to do this and not hurt anyone, and yet I ended up hurting many people, especially one in particular._

_Eli, if you're reading this, and I know you are, I am so sorry. You were right, I shouldn't have gone through with this. When my father first discussed this with me, I was completely against it. But, as he progressed, I realized that he was finally paying attention to me, we were finally spending time together. As shallow as this sounds, I did this partially out of attention from my father. And now, after its all over, I know that I made the wrong choice. You were there for me when my father wasn't. I didn't need to do horrible things to get your attention. You saw me when no one else did. And I took that for granted._

_I understand that you may never talk to me again, but please know that I truly did love you, and I still do. I never intended to, it just happened, and I don't regret it. _

_Thank you for loving me when I needed it most Eli. I'm sorry I hurt you. _

_-Clare _

I look up from the note to see two expectant pairs of eyes and I see that Drew has read it over my shoulder. "She sounds pretty genuine in that letter Eli. I'd hate to say it, seeing the sorry state she left you in, but I believe that she never meant to hurt you." Adam nods in agreement. "You forgive her?" He asks in a hopeful, tiny voice.

I snort. "It's going to take a lot more than a note to make me forgive her for what she's done boys." I pocket the paper and begin collecting my clothes to place them in my suitcase. Adam and Drew shrug and follow suit. The topic of forgiveness is not brought up again, however I feel a grin tug at my lips and a warmth spread in my chest and this time, I can't push it away.

Damn you Clare Edwards.

You're already forgiven.

**. . . **

**Ta-dum! Sorry for the short-ness of the chapter and the strange song choice. I couldn't really find a P!ATD song that fit this chapter.**

**Be prepared for a slightly early update.**

**Follow me on Tumblr: verbal-acuity[dot]tumblr[dot]com**

**Reviews make me happy.**

**-Maya**


	12. Let's Kill Tonight

_"Let's kill tonight! Kill tonight! Show them all you're not the ordinary type."_**-"Let's Kill Tonight" Panic! At The Disco**

The plane ride to Illinois feels like it lasted a minute, and before I know it, Fiona is adjusting my tie for the party.

"Ten more minutes!" Simpson's voice calls out, and I bite my lip. Fiona laughs, sensing my worry and says "Don't be nervous. Everything will be fine. Plus" she smirks. "You look great. When Clare sees you, she'll beg for you back like a simple teenage girl."

I smile at her and Adam walks over and slides a hand around her waist. "This feels like prom." He says fondly and I let out a laugh, some of my tension fading away. "The prom we never attended." I say in agreement. Fiona looks at Adam. "You guys never went to prom?" she asks. Adam nods. "We never had dates." he admits sheepishly. Fiona shakes her head."High school girls are stupid." she states and kisses Adam. He blushes, and I turn away to give them some privacy.

Drew enters the room, fixing his shirt as he walks. "You guys ready?" he asks eagerly. Adam laughs. "Drew loves a good party."

We walk out together and instantly Imogen is at my side. "Agent Goldsworthy" she says, smiling at me flirtatiously like she always does. "Yes?" I ask tiredly. "Do you happen to have a date to this party?" Fiona narrows her eyes at Imogen. "In case you haven't noticed Moreno." she snaps. "This is no party. It's the biggest mission of your life, and we don't need an awkward first date thrown into the mix. This is not your high school prom. Dates aren't required." Imogen glares at Fiona. "Then why are you Agent Torres's date?" she laces her fingers in Adam's. "Because we're in love." She merely states and Adam blushes happily.

Imogen's mouth makes a little "o" shape and she looks at me. I avoid her eyes and she backs away slowly, as though she has finally gotten the point that I do not return her feelings.

"Thank you Fiona, but you don't have to be so harsh." I say gently. Fiona tosses a glance Fiona's way. "I know. But you'll never get the point across unless you do it forcefully." she says and I know that she is right.

"Are you ready?" Simpson asks. We all nod, and Simpson gestures to a large black car. "We'll be riding together." He says and I begin walking towards the car, but Simpson holds me back.

"Are you sure you're up for this Goldsworthy?" He asks gently. I swallow before answering. "Yes. I'll be fine." He releases me, and I spend the next half hour of the car ride trying to convince myself of these words.. . . We enter quietly through the back door, and are immediately greeted by a small dark skinned girl.

"Are you Alli?" Simpson murmurs, barely audible. She shakes her head once, signaling yes. She motions with her hand to follow her and says "Split into groups of three. I'll lead you to your designated areas."

Fiona kisses Adam's cheek and whispers "Be safe." before releasing her hand from his. Adam sighs out a "you too." Before Alli grabs his arm and leads him. She takes us down a narrow hallway into a large stage, where the curtain has been drawn closed. We hear music playing and people laughing. Fury grips me as I realize that Edwards is somewhere in this crowd, laughing without a care. However, my heart softens when I realize that Clare is somewhere out there too.

"Remember your instructions." Alli tells us. "Wait until the clock strikes, count to ten, then strike." Drew throws her a flirtatious smirk and she rolls her eyes in return before trotting off the guide the next group. Drew gives Adam and I an indifferent shrug. "I like 'em feisty." He says, smiling.

We both roll our eyes and cover our mouths to hide our laughter. I reach toward my belt and finger my gun slowly, closing my eyes to slow the erratic pace of my heart. Then, I hear it.

"Eli?" Her voice is soft, but it enters my ears like a chorus of angels. I turn slowly to find Clare at the edge of the stage. She looks beautiful, there is no doubt about that. She is wearing a black dress that follows her body shape exactly, stopping just above her knees. Her hair is curled softly, and she wears a thin layer of eyeliner. I stare at her perfect blue eyes, the ones I have seen countless times in my memories, the ones I have longed to see for ages, and I feel myself crumble.

"Ms. Edwards." I nod curtly, attempting to keep my eyes appear slightly hurt as she slowly moves toward me. I frantically turn to Adam and Drew, but they are in their positions already, and are still as statues on the other end of the stage. "Five minutes." Adam barks quietly to me and my stomach gives a nervous flip as I realize that time is running out. "Eli" she says again, reaching out to touch my hand. My eyes widen as she holds it, and I can't bring myself to look her in the eyes. "I'm so sorry." she says, and I turn to her. However, as soon as I see her apologetic eyes, something builds up inside of me.

"No. _No." _I tell her, grabbing her other hand and forcing myself to look at her hypnotizing eyes. "Don't just say it. _Prove it. _Prove it to me." Her bottom lip trembles and she says "How?" "Tell your father you love me, the CIA agent."

Her eyes widen, and she shakes her head quickly. "I can't. I can't!" She says frantically and I shush her softly.

"You hurt me tremendously in order to please your father." I tell her and Clare's eyes fall to the ground guiltily. "You want to redeem yourself, you tell him how you feel about me. Truthfully." I add and she bites her lip. "Eli, please. There has to be another way."

She appears so distraught that the thought of forgiving her now comes into my mind, but I attempt to ignore it. Instead, I focus on the ticking of my watch. "There isn't." I say shortly and I gesture with my hand for her to exit the stage.

"Thirty seconds left" Adam whispers fiercely and Clare walks off of the stage, dejectedly. Adam glares at me swiftly having heard Clare and I's entire conversation, and I lower my head in shame.

Then, the clock strikes, and I feel my heart beat in anticipation. Adam, Drew, and I count off together.

"Ten"

"Nine"

"Eight"

"Seven"

"Six"

"Five"

"Four"

"Three"

"Two"

"One"

The curtains to the stage are ripped open, and we are revealed, guns drawn. Some of the party guests look to us, however most are paying attention to the moving CIA agents on the dance floor.

I look to Agent Martin, who is frantically looking for a gun to use, only to find that he does not have one at his disposal. None of Edward's agents do. They assumed the night would be uneventful. I smirk.

"Assemble!" Edwards barks out to his agents, and they all clump together, but it is no use. We have them outnumbered and surrounded. Adam, Drew and I begin our decent down the stage, guns pointed at the agents and anyone who makes a sudden movement.

Simpson walks towards Edwards slowly, a victorious look on his face. "Congratulations." Edwards spits out, and a I feel a sense of deja vu coming on. Simpson smiles. "Thank you. I appreciate this. You and your workers will be escorted to a maximum security facility, where your punishments will soon be decided. Randall Edwards and company, you are under arrest."

Adam moves closer to Edwards, a genuine large smile on his face. I am happy for him. This is his dream coming true. He has avenged his father.

Edwards notices Adam's proximity and a wicked look crosses his face. Before any of us can stop him, he grabs Adam's gun, wraps an arm around his chest, and presses the gun to his temple.

"None of you move or I shoot the boy!" He shouts out and somewhere in the crowd, a woman screams and I know it is Fiona.

Edwards smiles an insane grin and Adam whimpers in pain as the barrel of the gun is pressed harder against his skull. I look at Edwards, and a look of almost pained pleasure has taken it's toll on his face and I know that something inside of him has snapped.

"If you shoot him, you die!" Drew shouts out in anger. The rapid clicking of heels is heard in the silent ballroom and Fiona runs up beside Drew, tears streaming down her beautiful face. "Adam!" she cries out to him. Edwards tightens his hold on Adam, and I feel fear rising in my chest like lava.

"Ah, young love." He says mockingly. "Such sweet despair." "Dad!" Clare's voice cries out and she runs towards him. "Let him go, please!" she begs him. Edwards fixes his daughter with a confused look. "Clare-bear, this does not concern you." He states, waving her off, but Clare shakes her head. "No" she cries, her eyes growing glassy. "He's my friend." She looks around at Drew and Wesley and Dave and Conner, and all of the other CIA agents. "They're all my friends" she says, and I am caught off guard when her hand finds mine.

"Except for one." Her voice is small, but it means all the world to me and my heart swells as she holds my hand. Edward's jaw drops and he whispers a small "No" "I love Eli, dad." Clare tells him. "It was never a lie. I've always loved him, ever since you set us up." "I love you too." I murmur, looking at her lovingly. She smiles at me, but our moment is short lived. Edwards cries out in anger. "No!" is all he screams, but we all hear the click as he loads the trigger. There are multiple screams in the crowd, but I can barely hear them.

Everything moves in slow motion. I cock my gun back and aim at an open area of Edwards. My mind is only on getting Adam lets out a wicked laugh, but I cut him off as I pull the trigger of my gun and hit him in the one gunshot is heard, and that is mine. Edwards goes flying backwards, and Fiona and Drew run to Adam quickly, making sure he is safe. I wrap my arms around him, pocketing my gun first.

A few tears leak out, partially out of relief, and also at the thought of almost losing my best friend. I ask him "Are you okay?" Adam nods, offering me a shaken smile. We hug again, but shortly after, we hear a pained groan and a woman's cries.

"Dad…Dad!" Clare screams, holding her father's face. "Please don't die!" she cries out shaking him slightly. "Someone call 911!" She yells. "Clare.." I reach out to her. "CALL THE FUCKING HOSPITAL!" she screams out, her tears dropping on Edward's blood stained shirt. Her hands and dress are growing scarlet, but I highly doubt she cares.

Agent Coyne whips out a cellphone, calling an ambulance. "Dad! Dad!" Clare continues to yell and all of Edwards's agents are gathered around him, attempting to assist Clare in stopping the blood flow from his wound. I also notice that the other CIA agents are gathered behind them, making sure they don't escape. All of the other party members are either running away in fear, or holding their safe loved ones, but I don't care about them.

"Clare?" I ask uncertainly. "He's going to die." Clare whimpers and I place my hand on her shoulder, but she shrugs it off. "No, he won't Clare." I tell her and she looks at me, and I recognize the look on her face. It's the same look I had when I was told that Bullfrog had passed away.

"Yes he is Eli" she says and my eyes look to her father, and I realize with horror that she is right.

"You shot my father in his heart."


	13. The Calendar

"Put another X on the calendar. Summer's on it's deathbed. There is simply nothing worse than knowing how it ends." -"The Calendar" Panic! At The Disco

I can't seem to focus my mind as we ride into the hospital. Edwards is strapped on a gurney, and my stomach lurches at the choked groans he is making. Clare is beside me, crying and hyperventilating as they take her father away from her. "Dad!" she screams out and two nurses come to her side, urging her to be quiet. "No, you don't understand! That's my father!" she exclaims, and she breaks down, falling to the cold hospital floor and beating her fists against it. "That's my dad." She sobs. "Thats my dad." She repeats it like a chant, and I pick her up in my arms and place her in one of the waiting room chairs. I stroke her hair softly as she wraps her arms around my neck. "I'm so sorry Clare." I whisper.

She breaks away from me, her bottom lip trembling. Then, she stands with shaky legs, walks over to a cross on the other side of the room, gets on her knees and prays. I shift in my seat uncomfortably, looking around. Adam, Fiona, Simpson and Drew enter, and Adam slowly walks over to me, his footsteps echoing in the silent room. "The CIA has all of Edward's members held captive." He tells me, and I nod slowly to show I understand. "How is Edwards?" He asks. I shrug, not bothering to speak. "Well…what do we do?"

I hold my bottom lip in between my teeth and instead of answering, I turn to Clare, who is still praying six feet away. I see her body shake as she cries out pleading prayers, begging the lord to spare her father. I turn back to Adam, and suddenly, we all feel so insignificant, because there is something so much greater at stake here than a criminal mastermind's life.

"We hope." I answer softly, and I stand to walk over the Clare. I get on my knees beside her and she looks at me with wide eyes. I wrap my hand in hers and bow my head down. Then, I begin to pray.

"Dear God" I say and this feels so strange

"I know that this really isn't my thing, but it will help Clare out immensely. I'm asking you to please, please let her father live. Please."

I feel a hand touch mine and I turn to the side to see Adam. He gives me a small smile before leaning his head down as well. Fiona has touched Clare's hand, and Drew has touched Adam's. Simpson holds Fiona's hand, and they all pray along with us in silence, our minds speaking the same words.

Please.

Please.

Please.

Spare him.

. . .

"Clare Edwards?" A nurse enters the waiting area and we all jump up. "Yes?" she asks her, wiping her moist eyes. The nurse moves towards her, looking her directly in the eyes sadly. "I'm sorry." she begins, and Clare breaks down again. "He's dead." she cries out and the nurse places a hand on her shoulder. "No, he isn't. He's still alive, but barely. Your father will die, the bullet pierced his heart, and we cannot remove it without killing him. He has a few hours left." she tells us all, and I feel my heart break.

He is going to die.

Clare sobs continuously and I hold her shaking body. After a few minutes, she sniffles. "Can I see him?" she asks. The nurse nods. "Of course." and leads her towards Edwards's room.

As soon as the doors close, I let out a frustrated yell and tear my hands through my hair angrily. "Eli…" Drew attempts to calm me down, touching my arm, but I pull away. "No! This is all my fault!" I grit out.

"It isn't." Adam insists, but I'm past the point of listening. "I fucking killed him. I fucking killed him." I grit out and Adam hugs me. "He was going to kill me if you didn't." He tells me and I feel my breathing shorten. "You did what any sensible best friend would."

I let out a small sob. "But she's going to hate me." I tell him and holds me tightly. He doesn't answer, he merely rocks with me back and forth as I cry, and I feel completely absurd with all of this happening in public.

Adam leads me to the chairs, and I sit down, bouncing my leg up and down at a fast pace.

It feels like an eternity of silence before Clare enters back through the double doors, her face red and puffy. "Clare…" I stand, wrapping my arms around her. "I'm so sorry." I tell her again, and she slowly kisses my cheek. "I love you." she tells me, and my heart skips a beat. "I love you too." I respond quickly. Her hands touch the hairs at the back of my neck. "My father wants to speak to you." she tells me and my eyes go wide, as do everyone else's.

"Me?" I choke out, and Clare nods, looking just as surprised as I am. "Why?" I ask. She shrugs slightly, her shoulders trembling. "He only said he needed to speak with you right away."

"Right away." I repeat softly and Clare's hand tighten around mind and her body tenses up. "He doesn't have much time left." she whispers, her eyes growing moist again. I hug her, and I feel her body shake with sadness. She pulls away from me, kisses my cheek, and says "Go". Fiona moves closer to us, and pushes me slightly towards the double doors leading to Edward's room. She wraps her hand in Clare's. "We can handle things here." She tells me, and I begin to move toward the doors.

I navigate myself to his room in the intensive care unit. As soon as I enter, I regret walking in so quickly. I should have given myself time to prepare outside.

Edwards is no longer attached to the machines he was earlier. Now, a single wire runs from him to a heart monitor, and the hearing it's beep every two seconds makes me physically ill. There is a nurse in the room with him, and she cocks an eyebrow as I enter. "Excuse me, but only family members are allowed in patient's rooms."

I open my mouth to speak, but am cut off by a wheeze coming from the hospital bed. "It's all right." Edward's gasps out, his voice sounding tired and sick. "He's my son in law. Would you give us a moment?"

My heart twists at my title, but the nurse shrugs and exits the room, carrying a clipboard with her.

Once we are alone, Edwards gestures for me to sit, and I take the seat beside his hospital bed. I am silent, unsure of what to say, and for a few seconds, the only sounds heard are Edward's heavy breaths and his heart monitor.

He is wearing his party attire, only his bloodied jacket is off. I cringe as I see the bullet wound, dried blood cracking around it. Edwards follows my gaze and laughs quietly. "They won't change my clothes. The thing it will agitate the injury and lessen my time." I shift uncomfortably, forcing myself to look at his pale face, to look into his bright blue eyes that have lost their spark.

"You know, when Clare and Darcy were born, I made it my mission to make them the safest, most happiest girls in the world." He sighed. "Somewhere along the line though, my priorities got mixed up." He looked at me. "Did Clare tell you Darcy was raped?" he asks me. I nod, careful not to make a single noise.

"When I found out, it felt like I had failed as a father. Here I was, making it my mission to protect my baby girls, and suddenly, something horrible had happened and I couldn't stop it." Edwards shifts on the bed, wincing in pain slightly. "I had lost my job then. Everything in our family was falling apart, and I just wanted to make it all go away. So, when I found out Darcy was…raped…I made it go away." He averts my eyes. "What do you mean?" I ask.

"There is a saying that goes "Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead.""

My eyes widen and Edwards drops his head in shame. "You killed the man who raped your daughter?" I ask shakily. "Yes" he replies uneasily. "That was the first time I had ever killed a man. I was just so filled up with rage at someone who had hurt my pure, innocent daughter, I couldn't help myself, I-" Edwards stops to breathe. After he exhales, he continues on.

"He was in a gang." He tells me. "A fellow member had sold him out after I had persuaded him with enough money. After I had killed him, he was short a member. The position had to be filled." He clasps his hands together. "So I took the position. For a few years, it worked well. Money came in, and my family was back on track. But it wasn't enough for me. I was hungry for more power. I broke away from the gang and began my own business, and it grew into the one you see before you today." He blinks, memories flashing before his eyes.

"You were right about my wife." He tells me, and my eyes drop to my shoes. "I am still in love with her. She made me feel good when all my life I had been bad. She made me feel like I could change. Before we divorced anyway."

I look up, and his eyes grow slightly glassy. "I had wanted my family to be safe and happy, and in the end I had done the complete opposite. I became a criminal and a horrible father. I became a monster."

I flinch at the term "monster" remembering Clare's words. "Mr. Edwards, you aren't a monster." I find my voice. "You have done some horrible things, you regret them all and realize they are wrong, and that is good."

A single tear runs down his cheek as he turns his head to face me. "I killed your father." He states. "I ruined your family, and yet you can forgive me. Why?"

I sigh, rubbing my neck with my hand. "Because you are dying. I'm not going to let you die, knowing that a man resents you for his father's life."

Edwards laughs emptily. "Elijah, I was dead long before your bullet pierced me chest. I am the shell of a man that once was. The only way to redeem myself in the slightest bit is to make sure my daughters are happy. You" he raises a finger at me. "Make Clare happy. The happiest I've ever seen her." He reaches forward and clasps my hands in his. He feels cold, and I see him slipping away bit by bit. "Please, keep her safe. Keep her happy."

I nod. "And Darcy?" I ask him. "Have her return from Kenya. Pay for her trip home with my earnings, and spend the rest on her and Clare. Set some of the money aside for Helen." His bottom lip trembles. "Make sure she is safe as well, and let her know that I love her, Darcy and Clare more than anything in the entire world."

"Of course." I respond quickly. "And Elijah, I am so, so sorry for all the wrong I have caused you and your two friends. I am sorry that you have lost your father because of me." I can only nod.

He lets go of my hands, his breathing growing shallow. "Find my daughter please." he tells me and I stand. "I fear my time is growing short."

I speed walk out of his room and into the waiting area. "He wants to see you." I tell Clare, who is now sitting in the chairs beside Fiona and Adam. "Hurry" I say. Her eyes grow wide and she stands and rushes through the double doors.

"What did he say?" Adam asks me as I sit down in a vacant seat. "He apologized." I answered simply, not wanting to divulge all of the details of Edwards and my conversation.

Adam shrugs, leaving all of us to grow silent. We wait for a half and hour before Clare enters the waiting room again, her eyes red rimmed and puffy, a nurse's arm wrapped around her shoulders.

"He's gone." she whispers, and my chest constricts with a sadness, although we all knew this was coming.

Although Fiona did not know him, her eyes grow moist. Although he killed their father, Adam and Drew begin to tear up. Although he did horrible things, I allow tears to fall down my face.

I hold Clare in my arms as she cries, and Adam, Fiona and Drew wrap their arms around us as well.

And although we are all crying, and nothing seems happy at the moment, I know we will survive.

I have survived this before, and I will help Clare survive it now. I will keep her safe and happy. I will bring Darcy back from Kenya. And I will tell Helen Edwards that her ex husband never stopped loving her. We will get through this.

We will survive.


	14. Behind The Sea

A daydream spills from my corked head  
>Breaks free of my wooden neck<br>Left a nod over sleeping waves  
>Like bobbing bait for bathing cod<br>Floating flocks of candled swans  
>Slowly drift across wax ponds<p>

The men all played along  
>To marching drums<br>And boy did they have fun  
>Behind the sea<br>They sang  
>So our matching legs<br>Are marching clocks  
>And we're all too small<br>To talk to God  
>Yes, we're all too smart<br>To talk to God

Toast the fine folks casting silver crumbs  
>To us from the dock<br>Jinxed things ringing as they leak  
>Through tiny cracks in the boardwalk<br>Scarecrow, now it's time to hatch  
>Sprouting sons and ageless daughters<p>

Those watermelon smiles  
>Just can't ripen underwater<br>Just can't ripen underwater

The men all played along  
>To marching drums<br>And boy did they have fun  
>Behind the sea<br>They sang  
>So our matching legs<br>Are marching clocks  
>And we're all too small<br>To talk to God  
>Yeah, we're all too smart<br>To talk to God  
>Oh, we're all too smart<br>To talk to God

. . .

The next chapter will be posted sometime tomorrow, I promise. I'm going to spend tonight and a bit of tomorrow working on it, because I really really want it to be perfect for you guys. :) We're nearing the end of this story, and I'd just like to thank everyone who reads and also reviews Enemy. You have made me so so so happy. I hope I make you guys proud.


	15. C'mon

_"What would my head be like if not for my shoulders? Or without your smile? May it follow you forever. May it never leave you To sleep in the stone._

_May we stay lost on our way home."_

**-"C'mon" Panic! At The Disco feat. Fun**

"Do you want to get up?"

"No."

"You have to."

"They'll understand."

I sigh, wrapping my arms around Clare's petite body. After we left the hospital, I took Clare back to my hotel room. As she called her mother to tell her the news, I arranged Darcy's flight home from a pay phone outside. While she called Darcy, I called her mother.

_"Hello Ms. Edwards." I say, struggling to keep my voice neutral._

_"Oh Eli." She murmurs, her voice cracking. "I'm sorry for your loss." I tell her and I hear her sob from the other end of the phone. "Thank you" she cries out as I toy with the phone's cord. "Ms. Edwards" I begin, uncertainty gripping me. "Yes?" _

_"Before…he passed, Mr. Edwards asked me to pas along a message to you." I tell her, and her sobs grow silent._

_"What is the message?" she asks, her voice quivering. _

_I take a deep breath. "He wanted me to tell you that he loved you. He never stopped. You made him feel whole and good. He loved you until he died." My breathing catches as I finish the statement._

_Everything is quiet for a few moments, yet her breathing grows uneven and I know she is crying._

_"Thank you Elijah." She repeats in a small voice. "I have to go now." _

_"I understand. I am sorry once again Ms. Edwards. Goodnight." _

_I pull the phone away from my face until I hear a her voice say something again. "Sorry?" I ask, pulling the phone back to me. _

_"Mrs. Edwards." She states, and it is evident that Edwards's feelings were indeed mutual. _

_"Of course." I reply, my voice soft. "Good night Mrs. Edwards." _

_And she is gone_

I pull Clare closer to my body and run my hands down her arms, grateful that through it all, she has remained safe. "You have to go." I say again and she flips over so she is facing me and our noses are touching. "I don't want to." she whispers, tears leaking out of her eyes.

I reach over and intertwine my hands in hers. "No one wants to go to their father's funeral Clare." I tell her, pressing our foreheads together. "But he loved you and you love him. Your mother and Darcy will be there too. They'll need you." Clare bites her lip and contemplates this before squeezing my hand. "I need _you._" she says and I smile softly. "I need you too. But right now, you have to go to your father's funeral and comfort your family. They need you more than I do."

Clare sighs reluctantly before climbing out of the bed and walking over to the bathroom.

. . .

I wake up, my eyes adjusting to the light. I realize that I've fallen asleep as I survey the room. No Clare

I see a note on the table beside me and recognize Clare's handwriting.

_I left a bit early to pick up Darcy from the airport. Get some sleep._

_Be back around ten. _

_Love, Clare_

I pull the covers off of me and attempt to find a clean pair of dress pants. Then, I don a black button down shirt and a blazer. I dial Adam's number quickly. He picks up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hey man. I need a ride."

. . .

We pull up to St. James' Cemetery and I begin searching for Clare from my window. "Eli" Adam says, taking his hand off of the steering wheel to point at a figure in the distance. I bite my lip and notice it's Clare. Her mother's arms are around her and a girl is speaking in front of them both. Her hair and facial expression resemble Clare's and I assume this is Darcy. There are tears growing in her eyes and I slowly open my car door. "Stay right here." I tell Adam and he nods.

I grip a bouquet of flowers in my hand, and my heart is pounding in my ears as I near. It is only Darcy, her mother, Clare, and a few other members of Clare's family. As my footsteps grow closer, Clare turns, her eyes glassy and wide as she sees me. "Eli" She whispers, and once I am close enough, I think of the right words to say.

"I'm sorry if I'm intruding." I speak quietly out of respect. Clare looks around at her family members, who are speaking to each other in small groups. Darcy is now comforting her mother, but watching me with a careful eye.

"No not at all." Clare says, smoothing out her black dress. I hold up the flowers. "May I?" I ask. Clare appears shocked. "You want to…"

"Pay my respects." I finish for her, stepping over to Randall Edwards's grave. I kneel slowly, aware that everyone is watching me, and place the flowers down next to some of the others that have been brought. "I'll keep her safe." I promise quietly.

I stand, brushing some of the dirt off of my knees. Clare steps up beside me, intertwining her fingers in mine. "I love you." She tells me and I squeeze her hand. "I love you too."

After we leave the cemetery, I have dinner with Clare, Darcy and her mother. They all share stories of Edwards, and I listen with interest. The stories are lively and happy, full of smiles and laughter. They are told of a time before Edwards became evil, before he was a criminal. Back when he was a father, a husband, and a wonderful man.

When it is time to leave, Clare takes me by the hand outside, where Adam is waiting. "Are you sure you don't want to stay with your mom and Darcy?" I ask her. She shakes her head in response. "They had be for the whole day." She says. "I need you."

She crawls into my bed and onto my lap, gently snuggling into my chest. "You know" I state, playing with her hair. "If you moved in with me back in Toronto, we could do this all the time." Clare looks up at me and wraps her arms around my waist. "Is that an invitation?" She questions.

I kiss her. "Depends. Are you going to accept?"

She contemplates it for a moment. "No" she answers, and I sigh. "I figured." I say and she holds up a finger, silencing me.

"Not because I don't want to. I'm still in high school Eli. I want to stay with my mother for the remainder of the school year. Then, I'll go to TUI."

"I'll get an apartment by the campus." I offer quickly. Clare laughs. "Eli, you don't have to buy a new home for me." she says quietly.

"I want to." I tell her. "Now that my CIA mission is over, I can resume my normal life, and that includes, if not focuses on you."

Clare smiles brightly. "We can start over." She murmurs, playing with my fingers. "Just like we've been wanting." I say, my eyes beginning to close.

Exhaustion is beginning to overtake us both, and as me eyelids shut, Clare says in a drowsy tone, "I love you Eli."

I smile slightly. "I love you too Clare. More than anything. More than everything."

And we drift into a nightmare free sleep, our limbs entangled and our hearts beating at a perfect, neutral pace.

. . .

**Tada! I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter, I worked hard on it.**

**I should let you know that next chapter will be the final one. **

**I'd like to tell you all that it has been fantastic writing this story, and I couldn't have asked for better viewers and reviewers. **

**I'll be writing another story soon!**

**Love,**

**Maya**


	16. That Green Gentleman Reprise

_"Things have changed for me." _

**-"That Green Gentleman" Panic! At The Disco**

**Disclaimer; I do not own Degrassi or Panic! At The Disco**

"It's been a pleasure working with you Agent Goldsworthy." Simpson says as he shakes my hand. "I feel the same sir." I respond. "Feel free to call me anytime you need help."

Simpson winks. "I'll hold you to that." he says with a grin.

"Eli" Adam says, and I slowly turn around, adjusting to my first name being called in public. "Yeah?" I say.

"The car's all packed up and ready to go." I smile and look back at Simpson. "Thank you." I tell him for the final time and we exchange a hug, an extremely rare occurrence between employer and employee.

"Your father would be tremendously proud of you Elijah." He tells me, and for a moment, I swear I see tears beginning to swell up in his eyes. "I know." I simply say, because it's all I can really manage without breaking down myself, and follow Adam to the car.

We all get into Drew's pickup truck, Fiona, Adam, Drew, Clare and I. Once we're all buckled in, Drew turns around and looks at us from his rearview mirror. "How does it feel to leave the CIA?" Drew he asks all of us.

"Strange, but exciting." Adam says.

"Sad, but happy at the same time." Fiona says.

"Bittersweet." Clare agrees.

It's a while before I can think of a fitting answers that sums up all of my feelings.

"New." I say. "It feels new."

Clare turns to look at me, and I drape my arm around her shoulders. "Is it a good kind of new?" She asks timidly. My lips turn up at the corners, and I look out the window. Drew starts the car, and the building I have spent some of the best years of my life working in gets smaller and smaller, until I can't see it at all.

I think back at all of the things that have brought me here today. Julia, my father, Adam, Drew, _Clare. _I think of Julia's encouraging words she spent hours preaching to me. _"You're going to do something amazing with your life Eli."_ I think of my father, who was a friend and advisor, who helped me become a man, even if he wasn't here to see it. I think of Adam and Drew, my two best friends, without whom I would be dead, and I owed my success to.

And, I think of Clare, my heart racing, spine tingling, blue eyed beauty, who put my heart back together again, when I didn't think it was possible.

Yes, this new life is strange, sad, and bittersweet. But it is also exciting, happy and awe-inspiring, and I am proud to call this life my own.

"Yes." I answer Clare's question.

"It's an amazing kind of new."

. . .

After Adam and Fiona have been dropped off at their new condo, and Clare sends Drew off in the direction of her friend Alli, I take Clare to my old home. I push the door open cautiously, grateful that Cece hasn't changed the locks.

"Cece?" I call out, setting my bags down beside the door. Clare walks in hurriedly after me. I mess around with my bangs for a moment, wondering if she'll recognize me as her son. The only contact I've had in two and a half years is over the phone. I shift uneasily and turn to Clare. "I don't think she's home. Maybe we should-"

"Hello?" My mother's voice rings from the kitchen. The sound of her high heeled boots gets louder and louder until I see her figure in the doorway of our kitchen. She holds a phone to her ear, but as soon as she sees me, she drops it. "Eli" she whispers quietly, and there is no question in her voice. She knows it is me.

"Mom" I hold my arms out and she rushes into them, sobbing with happiness. "Oh Eli it is you!" She coos, and I wrap my arms around her. "Yeah it is." I mumble, embarrassed.

"Oh Eli I'm so happy your finally home!" She touches my face and looks at the rest of my body, inspecting it for damage. I laugh. "I'm fine Cece." I tell her.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity of loving words happy tears, my mother takes note of Clare standing behind me. "And who is this?" She asks with a small smile.

"Mom, this is Clare. She's my, uh, girlfriend." I say, the world _girlfriend_ rolling off of my tongue uneasily, as though I haven't said it in ages. "Clare, meet my mom, Cece."

"Hello Mrs. Goldsworthy." Clare sticks out a dainty hand. "It's a pleasure to meet-oof!"

Cece cuts off Clare's sentence with a suffocating motherly hug. "Hello dear!" Cece cries. "It's so nice to meet Eli's girlfriend! He talked about you all the time in our phone calls, but it's so nice to actually see you in person!"

Clare blushes furiously and I grimace in chargin. "It's nice to meet you too." Clare says delightedly.

"Well, please come in!" Cece says, ushering us both to the couch. "I'm sure you have many interesting stories to talk about. Why don't we start with when you two met? Please, tell me everything."

Clare and I share a glance. "That might take a while Cece." I tell her.

She picks up the forgotten phone and places it on the table, not bothering a say goodbye to the person on the other line. "We have time." she says to us both. "But-" I begin, but Clare stops me. "We'd love to tell you."

I smirk and lean forward, pressing me lips to her own, ignoring my mother for a moment. She sighs lovingly and kisses me back. Once I pull away, her blue eyes sparkle at me, and I feel completely content. I feel bliss.

"We have all the time in the world." She murmurs to me, pressing our foreheads together. I wrap my hands in hers and everything seems, feels, and is perfect.

"All the time in the world." I repeat. "That sounds amazing Clare Edwards."

And so we sit, and we eat some of Cece's cookies that she says she baked from scratch to impress Clare, but I see the box on the countertop. We make ourselves comfortable and tell her the tale of how our lives changed the moment we saw each other, because it did. It takes what feels like forever and once we are done, Cece is speechless. "It sounds like a slightly crazed fairy tale." She observes.

I chuckle. "A modern day Romeo and Juliet." Clare muses.

"Except we have a happy ending." I tell Clare, kissing her cheek.

"The happiest ending anyone could ever ask for." She says.

. . .

She moves in shortly after she starts going to college. My apartment becomes slightly cramped, but that's alright, because we're both happy. We sit in our bed and eat take out foot, reading Palahniuk to each other. It's our routine. I help her study for every test she has to ace and she helps me find a job at a publishing company.

She shows me the first draft of her story. She places it by my morning coffee before I wake up, and flees off to her class. I read it all morning, so engrossed that I don't notice when she walks in the front door.

"Do you like it?" She asks, brushing a stray curl away from her face and taking her jacket off, her cheeks tinged pink from the Toronto wind. I don't answer. Instead, I run over to her, pick her up, and spin her around, smiling as she giggles. I kiss her passionately, and she responds immediately, snaking her tongue into my mouth.

"I'll take that as a yes." She says, her face now flushed.

"It's our story." I state against her lips. "The story of a CIA agent's and his target's daughter's romance. It's our story, with every last detail." I spin her around again. "You'll notice I changed everyone's names." She announces. I beam. "Of course Ms. _Clara Edwin._" Clare gives me a sly smile. "So maybe I need to alter the names a bit further. Other than that, was it good?"

I set Clare down. "Good? Clare, it was amazing. Nearly perfect." I smirk as she raises an eyebrow. "Nearly perfect?" She repeats my words in an innocent tone.

It's missing one thing." I mutter loud enough for her to hear. I begin pacing back and forth, the small box I had placed in my shirt pocket earlier that night now feeling like it's burning a hole in my shirt.

"And what might that be?" She asks me curiously. I turn around and pull out the box, my heart beating erratically. "You've forgotten about the ending. You know, when the undeserving ex CIA agent proposes to his beautiful, smart, and kind girlfriend and hopes that she will allow him to make her the happiest girl on Earth." I move down to one knee, and Clare gasps. "Are you serious?" She inquires, her hands covering her mouth in astonishment. I nod in response.

"Clare Diana Edwards, will you marry me?"

. . .

Her scream of "yes" echoes through the apartment so loudly, I almost feel the walls shake. She leaps into my arms and we kiss so long that we cannot breathe. The ring, an heirloom, fits perfectly on her small finger, just as I had imagined. After our make out session on the couch, she runs to call her mother and Darcy and I call my mother, Adam, and Drew.

After the excitement has died down, and all of the "congratulations" have been said, Clare and I take to our king sized bed, worn out from today's excitement.

"Fiona says she's taking your dress shopping." I say to her. "She's ecstatic because she thinks we'll have matching weddings. I'll have to ask Adam to talk to her."

She hums softly in acknowledgement and lets out a small laugh. "As long as my mother, Darcy and Cece come dress shopping too." She says.

"Of course."

Clare is curled up in my arms, the ring on her finger providing a warm feeling in my stomach every time I look at it.

Both of our eyes begin to close when Clare speaks. "Eli?" She drawls, her voice laced with tiredness and exhaustion.

"Mmm?" I question.

"Thanks for being my happy ending." I pull her closer, that wonderful feeling of bliss I have come to love taking over us both. "Of course Clare. Thanks for being my happy ending. I love you."

After a few moments of silence I look at her and see that she has already fallen asleep. I chuckle and turn the light off. We fall asleep in each other's arms and I know that I wouldn't want my life any other way than it is at this exact moment.

Our story is a fairy tale, and while the story may not be perfect, it's beautiful all the same.

The End.

. . .

**And that is the end of Enemy. I know, I know, I'm sad too. ;(**

**I just want to thank everyone for reading my story, it means so so much to me. You guys are the reason I write, and I love you for it :) Be sure to check in soon, I've got new ideas for stories. I never get tired of writing for you lovelies. **

**Hope to see you soon!**

**-Maya**


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